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MEMOIRS 

MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 

AN AUTHENTIC NARRATIVE. 



PREPARED BY 




RUFUS NUTTING, A. M. 

Professor of Languages in Western Reserve College, 



' It is not enough that I am gratified ; God, my preserver, must be 
glorified." 



BOSTON: 

PRINTED BY PERKINS & MARVIN. 



1832. 



3ft nzf 

. £36 tf* 



Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1SS2, 

By Christopher C. Dean 5 
in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts* 



3ty 



I 



CONTENTS. 



CHAPTER I. 

^ Page. 

Her parentage and childhood, ....... 5 

CHAPTER II. 

Her residence at Mrs. C.'s till her marriage, . . 9 

CHAPTER III. 

From her marriage till her widowhood, . .. . . 20 

\hapter IV. 

From the death of Mr. Egerton to her recom- 
mencing housekeeping, '. . 42 

CHAPTER V. 

From her recommencing housekeeping till her 
death, * 101 



•? 



CHAPTER VI. 



Brief view of her character, with some additional 
extracts from her writings, . . 143 



MEMOIR, &c. 



CHAPTER L 

On the east side of the Green mountains in 
Vermont, and about fifteen miles from the prin- 
cipal ridge, is situated a neat little country vil- 
lage, called Randolph. Two branches of White 
river, meandering southward, unite a little below, 
leaving between them a considerable elevation 
of excellent land, which constitutes the township. 

The large groves of beech and maple, inter- 
spersed with cultivated farms, orchards, and 
commodious houses throughout the whole thirty- 
six square miles ; the richness of the soil; the un- 
common verdure of the pastures and lawns ; the 
clearness and rapidity of rivulets and brooks ; the 
western prospect of the Green mountains, rising 
in no less than five distinct grades of elevation, 
— green " unperceived, so softening into blue," 
1 



MEMOIR OF 

— and above all, a moral and enlightened set of 
inhabitants; — conspire to render this one of the 
most pleasant summer residences in favored 
New England. 

Among the early settlers of this town, was 
Justin Morgan, Esq., the father of the subject 
of this biographical sketch. — Emily was the 
second of his five children ; and was born Feb- 
ruary 16, 1784. In her seventh year she was 
called to one of the most severe afflictions, the 
loss of a kind and faithful mother. Her death 
was sudden and affecting. ■' Come, Emily, my 
dear," — said her father one day, on her return 
from school, — " come quick with your little 
brother and sisters. Your dear mamma is very 
sick ; perhaps she is going to heaven ! " The 
little group were speedily assembled around the 
sick bed, where lay the dying mother. She 
kissed them, and told them again of heaven and 
hell ; of the love of Jesus; of the faithfulness of 
Him who has promised — "When thy father and 
thy mother forsake thee, then the Lord will take 
thee up." And soon after she ceased speaking, 
they saw her turn very pale, and then she was 
laid in the grave, where they saw her no more. 

But the dying scene, and dying words, had 



MRS. EB11LY EGERTON. 7 

made an impression on their tender minds too 
deep to be effaced. At least, this was the case 
with little Emily, as she was herself heard to 
remark not long before her own death. Her 
affectionate father survived her mother about 
seven years. But, justly appreciating the im- 
portance of something like a mother's care to 
children so young, and especially to daughters ; 
and finding it, moreover, inconsistent with his 
employment of instructing, to take that special 
direction of them that even a father might in 
different circumstances ; he determined to place 
his children in the families of some of his judi- 
cious and pious friends. Thus, as will hereafter 
appear, with regard to Emily, the confidence of 
their dying mother in the divine promise had 
not been misplaced. The Lord indeed "took 
them up," richly providing for their best inter- 
ests, temporal and eternal. 

Emily was accordingly committed to the care 
of Mr. and Mrs. C. of Randolph.— " When 
Esq. Morgan brought his little daughter to me," 
observed Mrs. C. "he made two especial re- 
quests. One was, ' that I should teach Emily 
neat and industrious habits; ' the other, * that I 
should keep her from much company while 



8 MEMOIR OF MRS. EGERTON. 

young, particularly that which is gay and 
unprofitable. ' " 

He was considered an excellent instructor of 
youth ; and an engaged Christian. The above 
requests show him to have been also a wise man ; 
— a man, at least, practically acquainted with 
the dangers and necessities of youth. How 
many well-meaning parents find too late that 
they have permitted their children to squander 
the only proper time for forming systematic and 
industrious habits, in juvenile amusements, and 
unmeaning chat ; — that they have been attempt- 
ing to teach them experimentally " how to 
conduct among folks" before they can have 
judgment enough to distinguish between the 
" precious and the vile " in society. For fear 
that they should be led into temptation, when 
they come to mingle with the world ; they 
suffer them to mingle with the most irregular 
part of it before they have sufficient fixedness of 
principle to resist the very temptations into which 
they themselves cruelly thrust them. 

But the wisdom of these two requests of the 
father, will be more obvious from the further his- 
tory of the daughter. 



CHAPTER II. 

Her residence at Mr. C. ; s, &c. until her marriage. 

Mr. C. resided in a pleasant but retired part 
of the town; about two miles south of the 
meeting-house, but in full view of it. The red 
mansion itself fronts the south, with a continuous 
back-kitchen and wood-house, extending at right 
angles with its opposite side, as is a frequent 
custom of building in New England. Towards 
the west is a gentle slope, bordered by a thick 
wood. On. the north and east is a thrifty orchard, 
intersected by a road passing southward within a 
few rods of the east end of the house, and separated 
from it by a neat yard fence. Towards the south, 
a distant prospect opens through an extensive and 
sometimes abrupt valley, terminated by the Bar- 
nard hills. Over these, in a clear sky, is seen the 
celebrated Ascutney, at the distance of forty 
miles, standing in the deep vale, and raising his 
sky-colored head in beautiful grandeur, as if to 
enjoy a more extensive prospect of the far-rolling 
1"* 



10 MEMOIR OF 

Connecticut. In the apartments of the house 
there was nothing distinguishing, if we except 
the systematic neatness which uniformly pre- 
vailed. Whether the symmetry, and beauty, 
and stillness of this situation produced any 
permanent effect on the mind and habits of young 
Emily, is perhaps rather probable than certain. 
But the influence of the inmates is less dubious; 
whose characters, therefore, deserve here a 
passing notice. 

Lieutenant David c********, was an early 
settler in the township ; an excellent practical 
agriculturist ; of a sound and discriminating 
mind; of considerable reading, and much think- 
ing; but of few words. His tall, erect person, 
serious aspect, and mild but decisive manner, 
were happily calculated to secure personal 
esteem and respect; while his uniform upright- 
ness as a citizen, gave him a large share of 
influence in the town ; and his consistency of 
Christian conduct, rather than a multitude of 
verbal protestations, proved him to be really, what 
he had long been professedly, a sincere disciple 
of the holy and benevolent Saviour. 

Mrs. C. possessed also many of the mental and 
moral traits of her husband. She was one that 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. \\ 

11 looked well to the ways of her household 5" rather 
distinguished for the order and propriety of her 
domestic economy ; for which a discriminating 
mind, improved by reading and reflection, hap- 
pily qualified her. To these intellectual charac- 
teristics she joined an ardency of affection, and a 
happy talent at ready and rational conversation, 
which, habitually under the direction of Christian 
principle, prepared her for distinguished useful- 
ness, both in the domestic, and in the larger 
religious circle. In the judgment of charity, she 
not only was, but she appeared to be, what she 
professed. Not only did her deeds of piety and 
benevolence speak her gratitude for redeeming 
love ; but her tongue was also ready, on all 
proper occasions, to bear testimony for the truth ; 
and to declare what God had done for her soul. 
These excellent partners in life were the 
parents of three children, a daughter and two 
sons. The youngest found an early grave, while 
a member of Middlebury College. The other 
son still inherits the patrimony, and many of the 
parental characteristics. Their sister, Elizabeth, 
was distinguished for elegance of person, deli- 
cacy, and correctness of taste, and that retiring 
modesty united with a placid and contemplative 



12 MEMOIR OF 

turn, which never fail to render the possessor 
amiable. But the fairest flowers are not always 
suffered to bloom the longest. Consumption 
had marked her for his early victim. She died 
not far from twenty years old ; — not, however, 
-till she had left, to her afflicted friends, scriptural 
evidence of a hope full of immortality. 

Elizabeth C. was younger than Emily Morgan, 
and perhaps received more influence than she 
exerted. In companionship, however, the influ- 
ence is usually mutual and reciprocal. It was 
undoubtedly so in this case, as the similarity of 
their dispositions, as will hereafter appear, had 
laid the foundation for an ardent and lasting 
attachment — never interrupted but by the all- 
conquering stroke of death. 

In such a family as the one described, it was 
to be expected that a youth of Emily's docile 
and amiable temper, as she progressed in years, 
should progress also in " whatsoever things are 
true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good re- 
port." That this was the case with her, was 
evident, both. from the testimony of her kind 
patrons, and that of her whole subsequent life. 

Mrs. C. remarked to the writer, after the 
subject of the remark was beyond the reach of 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 13 

human censure or applause, " Emily was always 
pleasant and cheerful in acquiescing in my 
opinion, even when it involved any course of 
conduct crossing to her own juvenile inclinations. 
This was sometimes the case ; as she naturally 
possessed a very social turn, and I felt it impor- 
tant, as well from my own conviction of duty, as 
from the request of her affectionate father, who 
was now no more, ' to keep her from much 
company/ during her years of youthful inexperi- 
ence. A faithful observance of this injunction, 
however, was sometimes difficult, on account of 
Emily's society being much valued, and sought, 
especially by a company of youth on the opposite 
street ; whose thoughtless habits and amusements 
I knew would be very dangerous to her. I told 
her that I would be responsible for her refusing 
to associate with them, and that she might at 
any time, excuse herself by referring the matter 
to my decision. This course/' continued she, 
" was then, on the whole, the most satisfactory 
to Emily, though it brought a torrent of hatred 
and aspersion upon me from the disobliged party. 
But I still thought it best to fear God rather than 
man ; and endeavored firmly to persevere in my 
determination. After she came of age, however, 



14 MEMOIR OF 

I told her I should resign this part of my guar- 
dianship ; and she must now take the responsi- 
bility of acting and appearing to act, as a free 
agent in these concerns. And, although she 
still wished to conceal herself in my shadow 
from those now unwelcome parties of amuse- 
ment, I thought it time to teach her the habit 
of self-control, and to elicit her decision of char- 
acter. 

" The other injunction of her departed father," 
continued Mrs. C, " I found no difficulty in 
observing. Emily fell naturally into systematic 
habits of industry and propriety in the common 
duties of domestic economy, as well as in her 
mental pursuits." 

" Was she ever in the habit of attending at 
parties of amusement ? " 

" Never," replied Mrs. C, " in the habit of 
doing it. Once, indeed, when she was teaching 
school in another part of the town, and the temp- 
tation was strong ; I think it was a desire to gratify 
the wishes of her expected partner for life,— she 
consented to attend a ball. But she was very 
unhappy while there, and still more so after her 
return. For she had tasted the happiness of 
noble employments, with which she knew this 
to be inconsistent." 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 15 

" Were you acquainted, Mrs. C. with the 
occasion of her fortifying her mind with an 
effectual barrier to such temptations? " 

" I remember the occasion perfectly well," 
she replied. " It was no other than the evening 
party just alluded to. She there felt so very 
unhappy, and saw so clearly the inconsistency 
of her conduct in attending such a midnight 
assembly, that, after her return, she solemnly 
resolved, in secret, never to attend another ; nor 
ever did she." 

I well recollect having heard the subject 
of these memoirs mention this circumstance, 
not many years before her death. 

" When my secret resolution/ 5 said she, 
" became known to Mrs. C. she immediately 
began to scrutinize my motives for forming it ; 
well knowing that on the correctness and purity 
of these depended the divine blessing necessary 
for the strength and permanency of the resolu- 
tion itself. I was myself," continued she, " very 
apprehensive that it would be shaken by the 
persuasions of one whose friendship I exceed- 
ingly dreaded to lose ; but could expect nothing 
else, should I persevere in my present determin- 
ation. But what was my agreeable surprise to 



16 MEMOIR OF 

find that his attachment seemed to be rather 
increased by the knowledge of what I had done, 
although he was not a religious person." 

She mentioned this latter fact for the sake of 
exemplifying the case of many a young lady, who 
perhaps does violence to her own convictions of 
duty, in attending parties of pleasure to gratify 
another ; and of showing experimentally, how 
much more honorable and more pleasant it would 
be, even in the estimation of the other sex, to be 
strictly conscientious in this as well as in every 
thing else. The better judgment of Miss Mor- 
gan's partner, however his present feelings might 
be disappointed, could not but applaud such an 
act of heroic decision in one with whom he was 
expecting to traverse the boisterous sea of life ; 
and so would the better judgment of every other 
young gentleman, whose judgment is worth 
prizing, and affections worth ^possessing. But to 
return to her excellent home. 

Here she lived a life of happy retirement and 
domestic usefulness, with the exception of some 
summers spent in instructing, till she had passed 
the age of twenty. Nor could the affectionate 
faithfulness of Mr. and Mrs. C. fail, under God, 
of having a most salutary influence on her men- 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 17 

tal and moral character ; nor of meeting some 
proper returns in such a heart as Emily Mor- 
gan's. As appears from her letters, as well as 
her conversation, she respected and loved her 
benefactors, and gratefully cherished the recol- 
lection of their parental kindness ; and carried 
with her a sense of the good effects of their 
instructions, and restraints, and admonitions, 
even to the grave. 

The following extract from a letter to Mrs. 
C. may show, in some measure, the correctness 
of these statements. It was written during 
the latter part of her residence with Mrs. C. 
while employed in instructing. 

" August 13th, 1803. 
"Dear Madam, — Ever mindful of my obliga- 
tions to you, though always delinquent in the per- 
formance of my duty, I have long sought oppor- 
tunity to send you a few lines as a mark of filial 
affection, as well as in compliance with your 
maternal request. Indulge me in using the 
terms filial and maternal, since I am deprived of 
my natural parents. May I ever find in you, as 
I ever have done, a friend, a guardian, and a 
parent. Methinks I hear you say 'nothing shall 
2 



18 MEMOIR OF 

be wanting on my part ; if you do not always 
find me thus, the fault is your own.' This 1 
believe ; and may I be enabled so to conduct as 
to deserve the name of a child. I believe your 
task has been doubly that of a parent ; since you 
have had difficulties to encounter which a parent 
never would have thought of. But one thing, 
has made your task easy, or at least supported 
your mind under it, that you have been acting 
with a higher view than to obtain the applause 
of mortals. Nor could you suppose that the. 
object of your beneficence could in any measure 
reward you. Your reward is in heaven. 

" My situation this summer often recalls the 
scenes of happy childhood. When treading 
the very footsteps of my departed parents, I 
cannot but reflect ' how changed the scene ! ' I 
said happy childhood, for I knew not then that 
any evil could befal me, while under the protec- 
tion of my parents. I knew not that the seeds 
of sin were then rooted in my heart, ready to 
sprout with the least cultivation. 

" My dear madam, may I hope that, with the 
same judicious eye, you will continue to inspect 
all my conduct, and reprove my many faults. Be- 
lieve me, your reproofs will be always welcome^ 
as they are always seasonable. 55 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 19 

As the result of an interesting attachment 
already alluded to, Miss Morgan was married in 
March, 1806, having just entered the twenty- 
third year of her age. But this portion of her 
history demands a more distinct consideration. 



CHAPTER. III. 

From her marriage till her widowhood. 

Mr. Asa Egerton was a son of Colonel 
Egerton, an early settler of Randolph. He was 
a young gentleman of pleasing address, vigorous 
mind, and amiable disposition. His tall person, 
black hair, and piercing eye, were strikingly 
contrasted with the small size, delicate complex- 
ion, and uncommonly mile aspect of her who 
was henceforth to be known by the appellation of 
Mrs. Egerton. But personal dissimilarity often 
heightens the beauty of mental likeness ; and 
with regard to these exteriors, two can sometimes 
the better walk together who are not agreed. 
The weakness of the ivy, renders more necessary 
the strength of the oak. Indeed, with one 
exception, Mr. Egerton was all that Emily could 
desire in a partner through life's pilgrimage. 
But this exception was not obvious, like the 



MEMOIR OF MRS. EGERTON. 21 

contrast in their persons ; and she, who as yet 
could scarcely read her own heart on one im- 
portant subject, could hardly be expected, at 
such a juncture, to discern this subject clearly 
in the heart of another. But this must be left 
for a subsequent part of her history, 

Mr. Egerton, had spent some years previous 
to this connection in the occupation of a house- 
wright ; but soon after, obtaining a convenient 
stand in the centre of the town, he opened 
a house of public entertainment. Although 
this situation was far different from the happy 
retirement of Mrs. Egerton's younger days, yet 
she was not unhappy in it. The voice of her 
husband, was the voice of duty and affection ; 
and, in her submissive and devoted mind, was 
sure to be responded to by that of inclination. 
Her governing principle, with regard to her 
partner, seemed to be " all thine are mine/' and, 
d* if I make you sorry, who is he that maketh 
me glad, but the same that is made sorry by me ? " 
The following extract of a letter written about 
this time, introduces Mrs. Egerton's religious 
exercises of mind. 

"Dear Mrs. C — I have thought of late, that, 
if I could see you, I would converse freely and 

2* 



22 MEMOIR OP 

fully upon subjects which I have before stifled 
in my mind, when it might have been enlarged 
in the cause of the Redeemer. I dare not for- 
sake the impressions I now have, lest they should 
never return again. I have long wished that my 
thoughts might be turned into a right channel ; 
and have hoped that I should have conviction 
that would be powerful ; and have even dared 
to pray, that, if prosperity could not draw me, 
adversity might drive me. Thus I see plainly, 
that I have been trying to make myself better 
by attending to some externals. And though I 
did not dare to neglect them, and even had a 
secret hope they would have a good effect; yet 
now I see that I may keep s resolving and re- 
resolving and die the same.' Then I query thus 
— ' What shall I do? ' The answer will be in 
another question — 'Do you wish to be any better ? ' 
I dare not say I do ; for if I did wish it, I should 
then give up my heart. I once heard Rev. Mr.* 
E. say, that a sinner who sees his danger, will 
not remain long in the same place. He will 
either become reconciled to God, or he will go 
back by degrees into a worse state; and the worst 
of it is, he will be insensible of his decline. No, 
I will not say this is the worst ; for is it not as 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 23 

bad to be sensible of our declining state, without 
any heart, power, or resolution to be otherwise ? 
— Here, my dear benefactress, you see a picture 
of my heart ; and thus, I fear, it will always be, 
or worse. 

c why that sleeper in thy breast ? ' 
I often apply these words, but do not go far 
enough to find e why.' 

u I have presumed upon writing what I have, 
and much more I could write, because I think I 
ought not to be silent ; and though I have friends 
around me, yet I have none who appear even 
to have felt the power of religion. If it is con- 
venient for you to write me a line, or make mc 
a visit, I should esteem it a great privilege." — 
Again. — " Though I hear these truths by some 
means almost daily, and constantly every Sab- 
bath, and know them to be as important as my 
soul itself, yet I sensibly feel a place in my heart 
which remains untouched; a cold place, of which 
I never am sensible towards any other object. 
s What is the reason ? ' I ask, and ask, and yet 
I know. For this stupid delay will proclaim the 
truth, clearer than words. I would die the death 
of the righteous ; but, while life lasts, would as 
gladly hold fast my idols." 



24 MEMOIR OF 

I cannot help remarking here, that a person's 
religion usually ends where it begins. That which 
begins with something external, or something 
imaginative, will probably appear, at the last 
trying hour, to have been only an imaginary 
thing ; or, like every thing else external, will be 
" shuffled off" with "this mortal coil" at death. 
Mrs. Egerton's religion, as it is clearly perceived , 
began with the heart ; and what its end was, will 
be seen hereafter. I say " began ; " for, whatever 
serious impressions she may have been the subject 
of before, she was evidently now commencing 
practically, and in good earnest— digging deep 
to lay a permanent foundation, even on the rock 
of ages. 

Not many years had elapsed, before Mr. £g- 
erton concluded to turn his attention to mercan- 
tile pursuits. He commenced by opening a store 
in Randolph ; but, in the course of two or three 
years, concluded to remove to Stockbridge, a 
small town, situated a few miles S. W. of the 
former place. From S. Mrs. E. writes again to 
her maternal friend, in July, 1810. After speak- 
ing of a religious excitement in the place, which 
she hoped would be blessed to some, notwith- 
standing certain abuses, in consequence of which 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 25 

she mentioned several cases of apparent .self-de- 
ception, she adds, " For my part, I had rather 
know for myself whether my desires are, at all 
times to do the will of God, under a sense of his 
abhorrence of sin ; and whether I hate sin, even 
the secret sins of my own heart, because it is 
offensive to him ; than to have encouragement 
upon any slight ground, that I am a Christian. 
If I ever knew the truth, I pray that I may be 
ever kept in it; and, if I never did, still I have 
no hope but in God, and pray that I may be 
enabled to yield to him implicit obedience." 

To her youthful friend, Elizabeth C, alluding 
to the same excitement, she writes again near 
the same time — " Still I allow, with you, that 
'much charity ought to be exercised when reli- 
gious advantages are so small as they are here. 
I am told, that there has not been stated preach- 
ing here for twenty years, previous to this sum- 
mer. If, dear girl, you ever leave your father's 
house, and dwell in a place where you must 
necessarily mingle, in some measure, with all 
kinds of people ; some pretending to religion, 
while their conduct is very strange ; some pro- 
faning the name of God ; some ridiculing reli- 
gion of every kind ; some talking against one 



26 MEMOIR OF 

denomination, and some against another ; you 
will then say it stands us in hand to * know in 
whom we have believed.* J ' 

She writes again near the same time — " One 
thing I desire of my friends before I die ; that, 
if I give no evidence to the world of a regenera- 
ted heart before I draw near the close of life, 
they will not flatter me then with the thoughts of 
peace in death, nor themselves, when I am gone, 
upon the supposition of my having lived a regu- 
lar life, (should I be enabled to.) For, if I so 
wound my Saviour, as to refuse his precious 
calls till I am brought upon a dying bed, should 
my agony of mind then be ever so great, I should 
not even dare to pray for mercy. O pray for 
me that I may find peace in Christ! For how 
can I be borne with much longer? " 

From Stockbridge, Mr. Egerton removed to 
Royalton, a flourishing town on White river, 
ten miles south of Randolph. During their res- 
idence here, Mrs. Egerton united publicly with 
the Congregational church in that place, then 
under the care of the pious and devoted pastor, 
the Rev. Martin Tullar. Of his pastoral ten- 
derness and faithfulness she often spoke with no 
common emotions of gratitude^ But he has 



MRS. ExMILY EGERTON. 27 

gone to his rest. Although Mr. E. was uniformly 
kind and indulgent to her, and willing to gratify 
her wishes with regard to the enjoyment of re- 
ligious privileges and ordinances; yet she had 
long before this discovered, what has been 
already hinted, that their hearts and sentiments, so 
closely united in other things, were not likely to 
be so on this grand subject. Mr. E. professed to 
believe in what appeared to her the unscriptural 
and irrational doctrine of universal salvation. 
He had, indeed, tried all his powers of argument, 
which were not small, in addition to all the in- 
fluence of a most tender husband over a most 
affectionate wife, to proselyte her to his belief. 
With the Bible in their hands, the subject had 
been discussed by them, reading and explaining 
passage after passage, he in his way, and she in 
her's, till they had examined the greater part of 
the sacred volume. This examination, however, 
even in such unfavorable circumstances, had 
served only to strengthen her faith in the divine 
assurance, that " these shall go away into ever- 
lasting punishment," as well as the " righteous 
into life eternal/' or everlasting life. 

This furnished another occasion for Mr. E. to 
notice the mild but heroic decision of character 



28 MEMOIR OF 

in the one he loved. Always so gentle and 
compliant where her duty to himself was involv- 
ed, his better judgment again could not but ad-, 
mire her the more, however his feelings might 
revolt at it, that, when her faith and duty to her 
God were concerned, she was not to be shaken 
by an arm of flesh. He, therefore, wisely deter- 
mined to make the fruitless attempt no more. 

Mrs. Egerton soon had need of the consola- 
tions of her Christian hope, and the kindness of 
her beloved pastor. During their residence in 
R. that ghastly disease which had already been 
the harbinger of death in the Egerton as well as 
the Morgan family, began to make its dreaded 
approaches to her beloved husband. His pale 
visage, quickened pulse, and hectic cough, as 
the autumn of 1813 advanced, made it too evi- 
dent, that he must seek his winter's residence in 
a warmer climate. 

He accordingly started for Charleston, S. C. 
and, that he might at the same time avail him- 
self of the benefit of exercise, and prevent the 
exposure of fatigue then incident to public con- 
veyances, he chose to attempt the long and 
dangerous journey in his private vehicle, and 
unattended. The many anxious days and nights 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 29 

spent by Mrs. E. during his tedious absence of 
seven or eight months, can be duly reckoned 
only by those who have been placed in a similar 
situation. Her solicitude could only be allayed 
by her reliance on the power and faithfulness of 
her covenant God; and the tediousness of the 
time, beguiled by her increased domestic cares, 
and by frequent prayer and epistolary corres- 
pondence with her absent self. The latter, 
indeed, from the uncertainty incident to so long 
mail routes — a miserable comforter — often caused 
more pain than it cured. 

Of her numerous letters she wrote him during 
this separation, I find only two ; from one of 
which I make the following extracts. 

"Royalton, Nov. 12, 1813. 
" My dearest friend,— I received yours from 
Hartford, Ct. on the ninth day after date. I fear 
you are not quite so well as when you were in 
Boston ; or else my expectations were raised too 
high by the word which Mr. A. and Mr. C. 
brought; which was, that they had not seen 
you look so well for two years. ***** 
* * I feel very anxious to know how you rest 
at night. Are you feverish and restless ; or does 
3 



30 MEMOIR OF 

the frequency of your pulse arise from your gain- 
ing strength ? If you are restless at night, had 
you not hetter take an emetic occasionally, and 
have some draughts on your feet? How gladly 
would I prepare them for you, if this were pos- 
sible ! I hope you will keep up good spirits, and 
find something diverting and interesting in every 
place. No doubt you will, if your mind is not 
too much cumbered with cares. * * * He 
who has ever supported us, will provide for us 
still. He is loudly calling on us to trust in him 
alone. Let us rejoice that we are in his hands; 
and that if he please to continue his mercies, we 
may enjoy each other again in this world. — I 
find myself surrounded with a multitude of cares ; 
but think I shall get along very well. * * * 
If you receive this, you will direct where to find 
you next. Reading yours, and writing, seems 
to be a kind of distant conversation, which af- 
fords more satisfaction than anything short of 
your real presence. My letter is very much 
huddled; but you will receive it kindly from 
your affectionate 

" Emily Egerton. 
" Mr. A. Egerton, at Baltimore:' 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 31 

In the other, written sometime towards his 
return, she observes,— " There are two consid- 
erations which serve to keep me in a degree pa- 
tient in this long separation. One is that we 
are both in the hand of God ; who will no doubt 
order all for the best : the other, — one which 
you suggested, — a constant recollection that the 
now future event which we so much desire, will, 
on its arrival, bring us nearer the time of our 
final separation by the stroke of death" 

I find her feelings on the occasion of his de- 
parture expressed in a poetic effusion of much 
tenderness ; ending with the following expres- 
sion of pious feeling with regard to his recovery. 

— ci If this dear object be obtained. 
To God I'll raise my song; 
If not— ' Thy will be done 7 — Til cry, 
Whose goodness ne 7 er does wrong. 77 

The following to Mrs. C. was written some- 
time after Mr. Egerton's return. 

"Royalton,Feb. 1815. 
"My dear Mrs. C— The thought of not 
seeing Elizabeth before she died, still preys upon 
my feelings ; and it gives me heart-felt grief, 
which I cannot suppress, that I had not, in her 
languishing state, given her some proof of my 



32 MEMOIR OF 

never-ending attachment. The last time I saw 
her, ill health, and my short visit, left me no 
opportunity with her. I regretted it afterwards; 
and it left on my mind a forcible impression, 
that I should take some opportunity to converse 
particularly with her. But death, alas! was 
ready sooner to snatch the prey than I to obey 
the call of duty. I consider this thus ordered 
for a lesson of improvement to teach me to be 
ever ready to let go the cares of life for a mo- 
ment, that I may visit the beds of the sick and 
the dying, that their dying admonitions may 
have a tendency to break the enchantments of 
life, to give me an earnest desire for the things 
beyond the grave, to bid me view death near, 
not only when following a friend to the grave, 
but every moment of my life." 

When Mr. Egerton returned from the south, 
his health appeared to be improved, and continu- 
ed to be comfortable during the beautifully clear 
and cool summer months of Vermont. But the 
fear of exposing himself to its piercing winters, 
and a dread of passing any more tedious seasons 
away from all he held dear on earth, determined 
him to close business in Royalton, and remove 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 33 

his family to Albany in the State of New York. 
To this circumstance there is allusion made in 
the following extract. 

" Mr. Egerton is now in Albany with your son 
Charles. When they return, I can inform you 
whether we remove soon. What will await us 
after our removal from this place, 1 cannot tell. 
This gives me no anxiety. But I fear the habits 
of the people will be unfavorable to religion ; 
and that I shall be drawn away with the multi- 
tude. I trust, my dear friend," (Mrs. C.) " your 
prayers for us will be answered for our good." 

The arrangement was finally effected ; and 
the removal took place in the spring of 1815. 

In Albany he recommenced trade in partner- 
ship with Mr. A , a wholesale merchant of 

Boston, Mass. But the exertions requisite in 
closing his concerns at Royalton, removing his 
family to a distance, and recommencing mercan- 
tile business on a larger scale than before, were 
not well calculated to restore his health ; which 
had indeed, been gradually declining since his 
return from the south. Add to this, that he now 
began to experience some reverses in trade. 
3* 



34 MEMOIR OF 

During the summer, the house of his partner in 
Boston suffering a failure, he was involved in 
very severe trials; especially as, from the nature 
of the partnership, his dwelling and household 
furniture were involved, as well as his merchan- 
dize. From these unfavorable circumstances, 
the progress of the disease was undoubtedly 
hastened ; and had, by mid-summer, rendered 
him nearly unfit for business, and even for that 
care of his beloved family, which was then pe- 
culiarly needed. But I shall let Mrs. Egerton 
speak for herself on this subject. 

To Mrs. C. of Randolph. 

" Albany, JV. F. Sept. 10th, 1815. 
" My dear Mrs. C. — Knowing your extreme 
weakness of body and increasing cares since the 
death of your daughter, I consider it difficult for 
you to write. I hope, therefore, you will accept 
without apology a few lines from your afflicted 
friend, called to mourning in a land of strangers, 
with many other trials of various kinds. The 
first of August I was myself taken sick of a fe- 
ver. Mr. E. was then from home. He returned 
on the sixth or seventh, very low ; not indeed so 
weak as before his journey, but his feet and legs 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 35 

swollen, and very troublesome. He continued 
to bloat throughout his system. We thought it 
necessary, therefore, that he should make one 
more effort for relief. As he placed more confi- 
dence in Dr. G. of Woodstock, than in any other 
physician, he concluded to set out immediately 
for Vermont. He left me with great reluctance ; 
but I even urged it, considering my own situa- 
tion not to be compared to his. On the eigh- 
teenth of August, our youngest child, little 
Justin, was seized with a violent fever, succeed- 
ed by a cough, and great distress at the lungs; 
which ended his days on the twenty-fifth. Con- 
ceive for yourself, my dear madam, how his 
tender groans pierced my heart, while I was 
unable to do anything for him during his sick- 
ness, hardly to raise his head from the pillow. 
He appeared to know me to the very last, would 
look at me with inexpressible anxiety, when he 
could no longer speak. My husband gone — my 
anxiety for him was as great, perhaps greater. 
One dear little child's remains were followed 
solitary to the grave, on the twenty-seventh , by 
none but strangers, excepting my children that 
survive, and a young man that lives with us. 
Thus has the Lord seen fit to deal with us; 



86 v MEMOIR OP 

yet are his stripes much lighter than our guilt 
We deserve this correction ; and may we receive 
it as such at his hand. O my dear friend, may 
we not entertain a hope for the soul of our de- 
parted child? Not from the persuasion that 
infancy is pure, but from the compassion of our 
dying Saviour. Knowing his almighty power to 
save, may we not hope that he sanctified him 
ere he caused his early exit? His will is done ; 
I would rejoice in this consideration, knowing 
that he will rightly dispose of every creature; 
and that 'justice and judgment are the habitation 
of his throne for ever/ I therefore study sub- 
mission through a conviction of his wisdom and 
justice. Nor would I, although nature pleads 
for the life of my partner, ' prescribe bounds to 
the Almighty J by repining at his will O pray 
for us, my dear friends, that, if mercies cannot 
draw, affections may drive us to the feet of Jesus ; 
and that each may be enabled to say hereafter., 

'Trials make the promise sweet 3 
Trials give new jife to prayer ; 
Trials Jay me at his feet ; 

Lay me low, and keep me there,* 

" Yours affectionately, 

" Emily Egerton." 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 37 

But the same covenant God who had heard 
her prayer to be' delivered from the fascinations 
of a city life, and had begun to lead her out of 
them in a way that she knew not, would not 
leave his severely merciful work unfinished. 
He too, whose earthly existence had caused her 
so much solicitude, and his future happiness 
infinitely more; * the desire of her eyes,' the 
partner of her soul ; he too must lay his remains 
beside those of his little Justin, ere she could 
leave a place full of anxious fears, and probable 
dangers to her immortal interests. 

Concerning his death, I find few particulars in 
writing. Her feelings as a partner would natural- 
ly and justly lead her to draw the mantle of charity 
over those expiring words and views, which her 
Christian benevolence would otherwise wish to 
record for the benefit of those who might be in- 
clined to live in the belief of sentiments which 
can never effectually take away the sting of 
death. The most that escaped her lips was, 
that whenever her anxiety for his eternal welfare 
compelled her to commence conversation on the 
subject, he would put her off by saying that 
" this was a matter only between him and his 
God." He died a month after the date of the 
preceding, on the 11th of October. 



38 MEMOIR OF 

To Mrs. C. she writes thus on the occasion 
— "I have been sorely stricken once and again. 
Yet hath He not wise ends to answer in all this? 
Himself hath done it ; and ' shall I receive good 
at the hand of the Lord, and shall I not receive 
evil V I would walk softly before him all the 
days of my life ; praying him to point out and 
remove all those secret sins which have drawn 
out his judgments against me," 

To another friend in Randolph* 

fi 'My dear Mrs. N ,— Oh my beloved 

husband ! how did I watch his every look and 
action, with the most exquisite anxiety, fearing 
yet hoping, dreading yet pleading with God to 
spare. O help me to bless God that he spared 
so long. 

1 This soul of mine the dreadful wound has borne ! 
Off from its side the dearest half is torn. 
The rest lies bleeding and but lives to mourn. 7 

" I would lie prostrate at the feet of Jesus ; 
and, with an eye of faith, behold him doing alL 
that for me and in me, both for soul and body., 
which I need. I pray that I may not crave that 
which he withholds." 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 39 

To the sister of her late husband in Randolph. 
— " You are sensible, my dear Mrs. Smith, that 
I have lost a friend whose sole aim was to render 
me happy by every act of tenderness, attention, 
and love. He did not think me perfect; was 
entirely sensible of my many foibles. Bat his 
reproofs were to me sure tokens of his faithful 
attachment, and good judgment of female deco- 
rum. Now, to whom can I look for worldly 
support — for a leader — for advice in temporal 
concerns 1 No one has more reason to be thank- 
ful than I, for the many attentions shown me by 
my friends. But who can I expect will make 
any sacrifice for my sake ? Father and mother — 
I have none. A home I have not. Who will 
act the part of a parent to my children, and 
guide their steps in the right paths? God only 
knows; and he does know; for his ways are 
from everlasting, and not a sparrow can fall to 
the ground without his notice. I do believe 
' the Lord will provide.' And how do I chide 
my faithless heart, that because he has not made 
known to me how, I am careful and troubled 
about these things. O how I pray for confi- 
dence in God, that I may cast all my cares upon 
him. I know he will do all that is needful 






40 MEMOIR OF 

for me. And O may I be willing to be just 
where and how be shall see fit to place me. May 
I be so entirely humbled by these chastisements, 
as never to find my vain heart seeking after 
worldly good or applause. I know I am verily 
unworthy of the many mercies I have hitherto 
enjoyed ; have been ungrateful, feeling as though 
they were my own, not considering they were 
but lent for a time. Oh, if I might be brought 
near to God by these trying events, so that my 
very soul might repose in him from day to day, 
then I might rejoice forever more. But instead 
of trusting to his grace, I fear I am exercising 
the sorrow of the world which worketh death. * 
* * * E. Egerton." 

But he who has said, " As thy day is, so thy 
strength shall be," was too faithful to leave his 
handmaid in circumstances so truly trying, with- 
out that Christian consolation which had already 
enabled her thus to be " shedding tears through 
smiles ;" and would enable her at length to 
obtain the complete victory which she desired, 
over " the sorrow of the world" which " worketh 
death." If the furnace of affliction is too hot 
for the feeble frames of his children, one like 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 41 

the Son of God will not fail to be seen walking 
with them in the midst of the fire. He will pro- 
vide a Peter for every praying Cornelius ; a 
messenger, an interpreter for each disconsolate 
soul; and will be gracious, and say " deliver 
him from going down to the pit ; I have found a 
ransom." 

Accordingly, soon after this severe trial, Mrs. 
Egerton received a pastoral visit from the Rev. 
Dr. N. then of Albany, of whose Christian kind- 
ness she ever cherished the most grateful recol- 
lection. Meekly following the footsteps of his 
divine Master into the abodes of distress, and 
learning that her's had recently become such, he 
could not pass by " on the other side ; J; but with 
the look of sympathy, and voice of consolation, he 
repeated to the mourners this strikingly appro- 
priate passage — " Leave thy fatherless children, 
and let thy ividoivs trust in meT This was 
enough. Almost an entire stranger to Dr. N. 
she could not help receiving it as a message sent 
from God. Nor could she despair of obtaining 
all things needful from Him who can afford such 
seasonable relief. 

4 



CHAPTER IV. 

t the death of Mr. E. to her recommencing housekeeping* 

In the situation in which she was now placed 
by a stroke seemingly so severe, her Christian 
character was left unshackled, to evolve itself 
more rapidly, and to the extent which her subse- 
quent history will show. 

On the news of her various afflictions reach- 
ing Randolph, her late husband's brother, Capt. 
E., immediately set off for Albany. Through 
his seasonable assistance, a small portion of the 
remaining property was rescued from that com- 
mercial vortex, which would otherwise have 
doubtless engulphed the whole. She did not, 
however, tarry at Albany long enough to be 
made acquainted with the exact degree of his 
success ; but as soon as consistent after the 
mournful scene was past, she set off with her 
three surviving children, to return again like 



MEMOIR OF SIRS. EGERTON. 43 

Naomi of old, to her own country. As the 
carriage rolled heavily over the Green moun- 
tains, containing all that remained of her once 
prosperous family, the widow's thoughts were 
many, but her words few : " I went out full, and 
the Lord hath brought me home again empty." 
Yet was she not unhappy. The Lord had done 
it, and that was enough. "In the multitude of 
her thoughts within her, his comforts could 
delight her soul ; n and in this respect, though 
sorrowful, she was still rejoicing. 

Soon after reaching Randolph, she writes 
thus to her sister-in-law, Mrs. Smith — 

" When brother L. first returned from Albany, 
I was made to see that I had been marking out 
paths for myself. I had been flattering myself 
there would be some way provided for me to 
keep two of my children with me. But oh 
the inexpressible weight which then came 
upon me ! My dear children must be thrown 
upon the world. Instead of rendering them my 
poor services, I must render what little service I 
can to others, for my own support. O my dear 
sister, how did bereavements, crosses, and losses, 
all unite to burst my heart asunder ! But I feel 



44 MEMOIR OF 

condemned for indulging such feelings, because 
I know it savors of a want of confidence in 
God. It had previously been my daily prayer 
that God would by some providence, make me 
to understand what He would have me to do. 
Now what shall I say ? Hath not the Lord 
placed me here? And until my duty is made 
plain in some other way, I hope I shall be 
thankful that I may here remain. * * , * 
" Your affectionate sister, 

" Emily Egerton." 

Thus Mrs. E. generally spent the time with 
her numerous and devoted friends in Randolph 
and the neighboring towns, for near eleven 
years. Her three surviving children were put 
under the care of honest and industrious inhabi- 
tants of the place, in whom, however, the chief 
requisite was, in her estimation, " the fear of 
God" She had learnt from her own experi- 
ence, the value of the principles and habits 
they would be likely to acquire under such 
tutelage. 

The following extract, of near the same date 
with the preceding, introduces another individ- 
ual, for whom she had also exercised much 
parental care; and who had long been an inmate 
of her once prosperous family. 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 45 

To Miss E. T. 

w Emily — dear Emily, — My thoughts are 
much upon you. My anxiety for you is not in 
any measure decreased. Still 1 am not in a 
situation to afford you any assistance, and I 
know not that I ever shall be. I suppose you 
are still with Mrs. Francis ; and beg of you to 
strive to please her, and be strictly faithful in 
all her concerns. I anxiously hope that you 
may have a home there, and not be cast upon 
the wide world entirely unprotected. You must 
not expect that every thing can be just as you 
would wish it. Remember that those who are 
placed in very eligible situations, do not arrive 
at this. If you feel at any time an uneasiness 
or irritability of mind, guard against imprudence 
in speaking. Reflect for a moment what your 
situation would be, if deprived of a home and 
the protection of those who seek your good, 
rather than your hurt — an inexperienced female 
who cannot weigh her conduct in a just balance, 
nor know the consequence of every misstep, nor 
always distinguish accurately between right and 
wrong, — her faults ever observed, exposed, and 
exaggerated, — who is exposed to temptations of 

every kind, without strength to withstand them 5 
4 * 



46 MEMOIR OF 

or wisdom to shun them. Guard strictly your 
tongue, it is an unruly member ; so apt to go 
without permission or consideration ; so swift to 
exaggerate ; nothing short of the grace of God, 
causing a lively sense of our accountability, can 
properly restrain it. 

O Emily ! could you know how my heart is 
burdened, not only by being torn from almost 
every thing that is dear on earth, but for the 
future welfare and improvement of my own 
children, you would not willingly add another 
weight to it." 

About this time she began to keep a private 
journal and place-book. In these she noted 
occasionally her religious exercises of mind ; the 
subjects of the public religious discourses she 
heard ; copies of some of her familiar letters ; 
pieces of original and of selected poetry, &c. 
From these manuscripts I shall occasionally 
insert extracts, illustrative of the state of her 
mind and heart at different times ; from a full 
conviction that a knowledge of such private 
exercises are of much use in forming an esti- 
mate of character. Whatever and however one 
may speak in other circumstances, in the pres- 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 47 

ence of none but his Maker he usually tries at 
least to speak the truth. These extracts, how- 
ever, must be very brief, or they would swell 
this little memoir to volumes. 

One year from the deaths of her beloved part- 
ner and child, I find the two following entries. 

" August 25th. — I would notice this day the 
anniversary of the death of my dear little Justin. 
O the ties that bound him to my heart ! I feel 
that they originated in some degree, from what 
the Lord wrought in him, in giving him that 
placid, obedient, humble and patient spirit — 
which I am not forbidden to hope was the effect 
of grace. O Lord God, thou hast done right, 
and my greatest happiness is that thou dost and 
always ivilt know r what is best for thy creatures ; 
and I do greatly rejoice that J may make a full 
surrender of myself, and my children, and all 
things wherein I am concerned, into thine 
hands. And I do know that perfect love and 
confidence in thee doth cast out all fear. Dear 
Redeemer, I pray that thou wilt be merciful to 
my surviving children. Wilt thou cause that 
they may be provided for in a way that may be 
for thy glory, and their everlasting good. I 



48 MEMOIR OF 

need not know how; only this I know, that 
thou wilt accomplish whatever thou seest fit. 
Were it not for this confidence in thy wise 
management of all events, I should often cry, 
6 Wo is me ! who will plead my cause 1 ' But 
now I have no concern on account of anything 
but sin. Thou art my help. Thou wilt be my 
deliverer, O my God. 

" Oct. 11th, 1816. — I wish to remember this 
day in a way that may reflect honor upon the 
government of God in his dealings with me ; it 
being just a year since the death of my husband. 
Lord God, help me to practice the many lessons 
which this event is calculated to teach me. I 
pray that a lesson of humility may be inwrought 
into my soul. Suffer me never for a moment 
to lose sight of my entire dependence upon 
thee. Help me always to expect, and be willing 
to bear trials ; and to be patient under them. 
Suffer me never to wish to aggravate the faults 
of others, but enable me to look to myself, 
and know from what motives I act, and find out 
my secret faults. ' What I know not, teach 
thou me ; ' and keep me from falling into those 
sins which I think I abhor. 

" Oct. 28tk. — My desires this morning to 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 49 

become spiritually minded are beyond what I 
can express. O Lord God, if I am sincere in 
them ; if I am truly tired of my vain thoughts, 
sick of the allurements of a false imagination — 
help me to aspire more and more sincerely and 
ardently after holiness of life, and purity of 
heart. Make me capable of judging of myself, 
and of bringing my conduct to be tried by thy 
word, and not by the opinion of the world. May 
there not be one secret root of self-applause 
dwelling in my heart; but may I have the graces 
of thy Spirit rooted there, so that I may live by 
them, and they in me ; and be my mainspring 
of action, that I live not in vain. 

" Dec. 9th. — I would this day record the 
faithfulness of God in finding a place for my 
little daughter. Many days of painful anxiety 
have I waited, not knowing where to go but to 
God, who always hears the cries of his creatures. 
I pray for faith ever to call aright on the name 
of the Lord, and for confidence to plead his 
promises in all difficulties. 

" May 3d, 1818.— May I be so humbled as 
never to have one exalted thought of myself, or 
even strive in any way to gain attention from 
creatures, or court their applause, or have my 



50 MEMOIR OF 

thoughts exclusively occupied with the attention 
of even my best friends. It is my dearest 
friends that ensnare my soul ; because I suffer 
my thoughts to be more upon them than upon 
God. Forbid it, gracious God ! and pardon my 
ingratitude. The friends I prize so highly, I 
have reason to think are thy friends ; yet, O 
Lord, that is no excuse for me. If 1 loved them 
for thy sake alone, my care and thought for 
them would never interfere with my duty to thee, 
nor would ever intrude into my devotional exer- 
cises. 

" Aug. lOfA. — Have had the most longing 
desires of late to be delivered from a self com- 
placent spirit, and from all desires of applause 
from man ; so as not to have a thought in my 
heart, when performing this thing or that, 
whether noticed by any creature or not." * * * 

Indeed, were a judgment to be formed either 
from her journal or her daily appearance, she 
had habitually, as well as at that time, " a most 
longing desire " of Christian humility and self- 
abasement, and a most rooted aversion to dis- 
play, to acting, or seeming to act, from a desire 
of the notice or applause of her fellow creatures* 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 51 

" March 1st, 1819.— Have resolved this day, 
as God shall give me opportunity, to attend to 
secret prayer early in the evening. As I have 
attended to this duty generally just before retir- 
ing to rest, it is frequently performed late, and 
I very tired and dull. It seems, therefore, as if 
by hurrying it over, I neglect God, and give the 
world my best thoughts and feelings." It will 
be recollected, that during these years, her time 
was not always at her own disposal, residing as 
she did with different friends. 

" March 26th. — Received this evening a let- 
ter from a very dear friend. In consideration 
of my feelings on the occasion, I have reason 
to fear, that I love creatures more than my Crea- 
tor. Although the name of Jesus was the theme 
on which my friend dwelt, instead of rinding my 
thoughts fly to Christ, and my soul enraptured 
with love to him, I have detected myself watch- 
ing for some flattering expressions which would 
fire my soul with an assurance that I am idol- 
ized by a creature. I had assurance enough 
before of her affectionate regard ; and the letter 
itself is an attestation of the continuance of it. 
Oh, she has shown my convicted heart that God 
must be supreme. My dear injured Saviour ! 



52 MEMOIR OF 

I pray that thou wilt not turn from me in anger, 
but wilt still look upon me with an eye of tender 
compassion, and wash away my guilt. O deli- 
ver me from myself. Help me to act for eternity 
and thee ! 

" July 9th. — When I reflect back upon my 
stupidity and cowardice while I lived with my 
indulgent husband, it seems like a punishment 
intended for me, that he was taken away with- 
out giving evidence of a change of heart. When 
my thoughts now are upon a future world, and 
the state of the dead, I am constrained to say — > 
6 O my God, how justly hast thou left me to 
mourn, as those that have no well grounded 
hope ! ' Yet my Redeemer liveth." 

Extract of a letter written near this time to 
Miss Parthenia Maria B., afterwards Mrs. Tal- 
cott, of Connecticut. 

" I can but hope my dear P., that you are 
now placed where you can be made useful. I 
doubt not that you send a thought now and then, 
and perhaps a tear, after your friends ; for you 
have an affectionate heart. But then you will 
say, ' although my mind must sometimes turn 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 53 

at the calls of nature, yet will I follow where 
God shall call.' When do you think of return- 
ing ? I begin to anticipate your trial in parting 
with your father, sister, and brother, if they 
pursue their intended mission among the Indians. 
I have been sometimes almost ready to wonder, 
why there are placed in our hearts so many 
tender strings that must be so often torn. Yet, 
herein do we see the wisdom of God and the 
weakness of creatures. For the moment our 
affections are supremely placed upon our Crea- 
tor, these ties of life will cease to rend our 
hearts ; or, at least, the wound will be more than 
healed by the balm of divine consolation. O 
Parthenia, you know I have had trials in life 
bitter and severe, and I bless God for them ; for 
I have felt in my heart, what I would not ex- 
change for all the world and all its treasures. 
Now I can contemplate the perfections of God 
with pleasure, and, I hope, with increasing 
desires after holiness. I hope my proud spirit 
is in some measure humbled, and that I am 
resolved to forsake my former sins — the sins of 
my heart which God has mercifully shown me 
by his correcting hand." 
5 



54 MEMOIR OF 

To another friend in affliction. 

" Why He sees fit to curtail your usefulness 
in life, and appoint unto you so much pain and 
bodily infirmity, we do not know ; but we 
may know hereafter, and now believe it is all 
in mercy. Joys and sorrows are wisely in- 
termingled through this life ; for unless we 
pass this howling wilderness, we should never 
make haste towards the Canaan of rest. You 
ask, my dear friend, what I think of your 
situation. I believe G%d is able to restore you 
to health again, if he sees fit. But O, dear S., 
is it not the desire of your heart that his name 
may be glorified, whatever ' seemeth him good ' 
to do with you ? I know it requires abundant 
grace to feel so in reality. O the depth of our 
depraved nature ! How it lures us on to make 
Christ our last refuge. Should we see as many 
days on earth as did good old Jacob, we should 
need the grace of God to sustain us through the 
whole of them ; and should probably say at last, 
* Few and evil have our days been ! ' I long to 
have you say, ' God is my portion. I will not 
lean upon an arm of flesh, but will stay myself 
upon the mighty God.' O may you, by the loss 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 55 

of outward comforts, richly enjoy the blessing, 
even life for evermore. " 

In the winter of 1821-2 there was an inter- 
esting revival of religion in Randolph ; which 
was closely connected with the religious history 
of Mrs. E. Such a season she had never before 
witnessed, though she had long been praying 
for it, and was one of the first to welcome its 
approach. But, as is frequently the case with 
those inexperienced in revivals, it came at last 
to her " suddenly ; " it assumed a different ap- 
pearance, and affected her own mind, at its 
commencement, far otherwise, than she had 
anticipated ; fork was "like a refiner's fire, and 
like fuller's soap ; " and she found that, instead 
of beginning at once to sing hallelujah for what 
the Lord was doing for others, she must first be 
prepared to ''thank God" (to use the language 
of another) "that she was out of hell herself." 
In order to this, her Christian hope must be 
shaken to its very foundation. Soon, however, 
did she come forth like gold purified in the fire. 
Those internal graces which had before been 
almost smothered by concealment, were now 
displayed in their proper character ; and instead 



56 MEMOIR OF 

of a life of constant misgiving from attempting - 
to conceal the light she had received ; she was 
thenceforward enabled to let it shine before 
others by a manifestation of more humble bold- 
ness and external activity in the cause of Christ; 
In this way, she soon experienced the truth of a 
remark concerning another distinguished fe- 
male disciple; " that she was habitually so busily 
employed in doing good to the souls of others, 
that Satan could rarely find an opportunity to 
suggest desponding thoughts concerning her- - 
seff. 55 

As illustrative of her state of mind just before 
the commencement of the revival, the following 
extract may be exhibited. It is from almost the 
last letter she ever wrote to her kind benefac- 
tress, and is dated at Roxbury, where she was 
then instructing. 

" Dear Mrs, C. — When away from Randolph, 
those I regard as my friends, are often brought 
to remembrance. Gratitude to my great Bene- 
factor will not suffer me to regard with indiffer- 
ence those whom He has made instrumental in 
smoothing my journey through life. No one 
would know by my appearance that I have much 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 57 

sense of mercies or of duty. It is God who 
searches the heart. I have, for some time past, 
dwelt very much upon the mediation of Christ, 
and his atoning righteousness. Is it right that 
a sense of guilt should drive any one from the 
Saviour ? It cannot a soul that knows he has 
nowhere else to go. I heard Mr. B. observe 
last spring, that there are doubtless some real 
Christians, who have low and inconsistent views 
of the Saviour. I had thought so of myself 
before, and that my coming so far short of the 
Christian spirit evinced that I was not one. I 
set myself to examine the foundation of my 
hope — whether Christ was formed in me the 
hope of glory. The more I examined, the more 
it appeared to me I was trusting to a legal 
righteousness, and had been all my life striving 
to be a Christian in my own strength, having 
never given up myself to God. My mind seemed 
dark with regard to pleading the merits of 
Christ. I even doubted whether his blood had 
ever been applied to my guilty soul. It was, and 
still is inward sin which is my burden ; feeling 
so much impurity within, having my thoughts 
filled with myself, or not seeking the glory of 
God. O my dear Mrs. C. I cannot write with- 
5* 



58 MEMOIR OF 

out tears what a sense I had of the vileness of 
my motives towards God. In things the most 
sacred, I feel the most guilt. O it has seemed 
to me that the religious privileges I have always 
enjoyed ; I have lived only to abuse them. Thus 
my mind labored for a long time. At length I 
thought — ? Is there no way for me to find Christ, 
and receive him as my only Saviour? '' I felt this 
to be of such vast importance, that here my 
whole hope of salvation must live or die forever. 
I believe the Lord has heard my anxious desires 
to have my mind enlightened with regard to 
pleading his merits for acceptance with them. 
I humbly trust He has shown me of late, in 
some small degree, how to get out of myself; 
at least, my desire, is to be found in Christ. I 
have not lost a sense of my sins, although it 
seems wonderful that God has not given me 
over to my own heart's lusts — ' to be filled with 
my own devices. 5 The more I see of myself, 
the more precious Christ seems. Salvation is 
by Christ alone; and though I should never be 
adopted into the number of his chosen ones, yet 
I can give in my testimony that there is salvation 
in no other. I feel resolved, through Christ en- 
abling me, when burdened with sin, not to run 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 59 

away from God, because I cannot keep myself 
from it ; but to fly to the Saviour, and if I perish, 
to perish bearing testimony for Jesus. 

" With the most sincere affection and respect, 
I am, dear madam, your unworthy 

" ExMILY Egerton." 

Fast day, April, 1821. — After blaming her- 
self for staying from meeting on account of a 
storm, she proceeds thus. " When, from trifling 
inconvenience, I lose a precious privilege, the 
thought often occurs— shall I miss the great 
salvation also, through want of persevering love 
to the Saviour, to push me forward in duty ? 
Must I mourn, as I do this day, over lost oppor- 
tunities in the regions of despair — where there 
can be no more intercession — where repentance 
cannot procure pardon — where prayer cannot be 
answered — where hope can never enter to repel 
the tormenting thought that endless blessings 
are lost through delay, through giving over of 
right purposes, through yielding to carnal ease 
or indifference ? Oh God my Saviour ! help me, 
do all for me — else I am undone." 

Some time after the commencement of the 
revival, she writes thus in her journal. 



60 MEMOIR OF 

" Feb. 2d, 1822.— I desire to bless God that 
He has permitted me to live to see the out-pour- 
ing of his Spirit in Randolph. I pray that many 
souls may indeed be born of God, and that 
they may give to God the glory due to his name, 
that their every desire may be that God may be 
glorified and themselves abased. Oh this pro- 
pensity in man to rob God of his glory, and 
arrogate praise to himself! Dear Saviour, I feel 
— I know its destructive tendency is no less than 
separating the soul forever from the Being who 
made it — to whom we owe our all, and who will 
spurn with righteous indignation every attempt 
at duty which is not performed with a disposi- 
tion of true love to Him. I desire to thank 
thee for any manifestations of thyself to my 
poor earth-born soul. If ever I mount above 
these grovelling attainments — these half-way 
resolves — it must be by the finger of thy touch; 
great Immanuel ! -No other remedy, no other 
physician can ever reach the depth of my 
pollution, and cause my thanksgivings to ascend 
on high. 

" April 14th. — Have this day heard two ex- 
cellent sermons by Rev. Mr. M., of Middlebury, 
who, hearing of the work of the Lord in this 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 61 

place, has come to render assistance in this 
glorious cause. May he be rewarded for his 
labor of love ! O it is a searching time! I 
feel my hope searched to the very bottom. 
This morning, under the power of strong 
temptation, I felt in my breast an awful passion 
of envy and ill-will— tried to pray and get sight 
of my Redeemer. But all seemed darkness. 
I appeared to be ' sold under sin. J With these 
feelings I went to the house of worship. Mr. 
M. was reading the seventh of Romans. Knew 
I felt it all, unless I was deceived in saying that 
' with the mind I serve the law of God.' He 
proceeded to speak from a part of the seventh 
verse — -'Nay I had not known sin, but by the law.' 
Believe I have long felt myself slain by the law ; 
and it is by comparing myself with its spirit- 
uality that I know myself to be a w r retched, 
undone sinner. O for a heart to give glory to 
God that He has not left me to perish without 
an atonement. Wilt thou teach me to pray so 
that thou wilt hear, for fervent, adoring love to 
the Saviour, for faith and zeal, and for a heart 
carefully to acknowledge all the evidence he 
gives me of pardoned sin ; and that I may not 
grieve the Spirit by murmuring because I have 



62 MEMOIR OF 

not that full view of the Saviour I could wish. * 
* * * * 

"April 19th, 1822.— Have this day been 
overtaken in a fault which I heartily detest. It 
is this — feeling enmity towards a friend, because 
I believe she has that degree of faith — of reli- 
ance on the promises of God, which I cannot 
realize. O Lord, wilt thou forgive me ; and 
make me to love those that love thee — to feel 
my heart united to them in the closest bonds of 
friendship. * * * 

" 24ttk. — Have this day been guilty of the sin 
of ingratitude in being discomposed in mind 
without cause. O Lord I do repent of this my 
fault. I do desire to resolve in thy strength, to 
forsake this sin. O help thou me ! O my 
heavenly Father, I do desire to be conformed 
to thy divine image. Thou knowest that my 
perverseness is my greatest burden, and the 
greatest trouble I have on earth. It leads me 
to cry out daily, e O ivretched creature that I 
am ! - Do not leave me to despair that thy 
grace is sufficient for me. 

" 28th. — I am ashamed to complain of any- 
thing which I do not feel disposed to put forth 
strong exertions to be freed from. O help thou 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. (33 

me, dear Saviour, and graciously cause that I 
may have the love of God continually constrain- 
ing me to every good word and work. 

" 30^/i. — Careful and troubled about many things, 

While doubting 1 and tears thy unfaithfulness brings ; 
Think, Christian — Ah Christian — can this be thy name ? 
Is Jesus thy portion 1 O blush for thy shame. 

Is Jesus thy portion ? Then what can go ill 1 
What ' aching void ? is there which he cannot fill 1 
My soul — O thou groveller ! canst not thou arise 1 
"Has love never fired thee to run for the prize ? 

"May 1st — The subject of God's unchange- 
ableness and our mutability I have felt this day 
very forcibly. I am sensible that all my dark- 
ness and doubts spring in a great degree, from my 
own changeableness of feeling. By losing sight of 
the mercies of God, we lose the disposition to 
praise Him ; we begin to feel the want of love 
to him, and then lose sight of Christ. Then 
our sins begin to stare us in the face, and with 
our present state of feeling, we can find no 
remedy. When we get over this, we see that 
God has not changed, nor anything but our- 
selves. 

" May 1th. — I desire to record the goodness 
of God to me this day in being better to me 
than my fears. O prepare me, great God, for 



64 MEMOIR OF 

the responsible situation I expect shortly to fill 
by thy permission." [Doubtless alluding to 
that of an instructress in the west part of R.] 
"May 18*ft, 1822.— The first Sabbath after 
commencing school on the W. Branch, heard 
Elder Huntington preach on ' sowing to the 
flesh/ or acting for ourselves ; and ' sowing to 
the Spirit, 5 or acting for God. As far as I know 
myself, I do pray, that I may in all things act 
for God. O grant me this desire of my heart, 
and help me to lose sight of myself, through a 
clear view of thy great glory. O my Saviour, 
graciously help me in this that I so much 
need." 



From some hints in the above extracts, it may 
be inferred that Mrs. E. had concluded to re- 
sume the occasional employment of her youthful 
days, that of instructing the rising generation. 
She had viewed, on the one hand, her freedom 
from the concerns of domestic life ; and, on the 
other, the importance and necessity of correct 
instruction of children and youth ; and the view 
had been attended with the firm conviction that 
here lay her path of duty towards the greatest 
usefulness. But not conceiving herself, in all 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. (55 

respects, properly qualified for the employment, 
she once more placed herself under the care of 
an experienced teacher ; and recommenced the 
study of some of the higher branches of English 
education. Nor was she to be diverted from her 
purpose by the opinion of others ; or any of the 
discouragements peculiar to her situation and 
time of life, till her object was fully attained. — 
Will not those of her fair sisterhood, who are 
sensible of their deficiency in anything which 
would conduce to their greater usefulness, " go 
and do likewise? " 

After sufficient preparation, Mrs. E. com- 
menced instructing again at the time and place 
noticed in the last date ; and such was her love 
to the employment, and the satisfaction of her 
employers, that she continued in the same school 
during five or six successive years, with the 
exception of the winter months. Nor was she 
contented with instructing her pupils in human 
science. In addition to occasional religious 
instruction during the week, she assembled them 
statedly on the Sabbath, and taught them care- 
fully the only book which was able to " make 
them wise unto salvation." In these pious ex- 
ertions she was joined by some kindred spirits 
6 



66 MEMOIR OF 

in the neighborhood, and thus was a regular 
Sabbath school established, the good effects of 
which will be more fully disclosed by the light 
of eternity. Indeed such was her delight in 
this employment that she was rarely disengaged 
from a class while residing in the vicinity of a 
Sabbath school till forced away from it by her 
last sickness. And it is hardly to be doubted 
that some of those tender lambs, whom she had 
endeavored to lead to the Good Shepherd, were 
among the first to welcome her to the abodes of 
everlasting glory. 

But the prescribed limits of this sketch re 
quire us to hasten over this period, to the time 
when we shall find Mrs. E. again employed in 
her own domestic circle. I cannot consent, 
however, to deprive the reader of all that occu- 
pied her mind and pen during the intervening 
time. I shall therefore close this part with a 
few extracts from her journal and letters during 
the three or four years preceding that event. 

From a letter to her daughter, written in 1822. 

"Martha, do you love the Saviour? Prove 
that you do by loving your benefactors. I can- 
not let one day more pass, without telling y«u 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 67 

that you must be more energetic in improving 
your time. If you manifest a disposition for 
this, Mrs. N. will instruct you how to arrange 
your time profitably, both for labor aud study. 
Be in earnest in both. It is your duty to labor 
perseveringly when that is required of you. At 
the same time feel engaged in some mental ac- 
quisition, that your mind may not be inactive. 
I offer these few hints because I was sensible 
after I left you, that I had neglected to impress 
these things upon your mind ; and because I 
feel afraid of your forming indolent habits. May 
God direct you. Will Mrs. N. accept my hum- 
ble thanks for all her kindness. I will pray for 
her prosperity. 5 ' 

In her journal about this time is found the 
following resolution. 

" Resolved in my own mind always to strive 
to make every one happy that I have anything 
to do with, from a sense of what I owe to God. 
I pray for strength from on high ; that my love 
to God, and love to souls, may be so strong as to 
enable me always to seek the happiness of others, 
without any regard to myself." 



68 MEMOIR OF 

From her journal in 1822. 

" I feel resolved to rise early on Sabbatli 
mornings, that I may not sleep away such pre- 
cious seasons. I also resolve, if God give me 
an honest heart, to act alone for eternity. But I 
feel that I fall infinitely short of this. I have a 
dreadful struggle with my proud, vain heart. I 
fear that this proneness of mine to self-approba- 
tion will at last thrust me from the presence of 
God. I stand self-condemned continually. Yet 
do not I hate this propensity ? Thou God of 
truth, I pray thee to show me my true character, 
and make me a partaker of Christ's righteous- 
ness/' " I am resolved to cherish such a 

love for retirement, and special converse with 
God, as to desire to leave all human society for 
these seasons of delight." 

— " I feel resolved, by the help of my heavenly 
Father and Protector, should I meet with ever 
so much scorn, neglect, or contempt from the 
world, or even from my professed friends, which, 
by the providence of God, I am not an entire 
stranger to, that I will keep my mind continually 
stayed upon God ; and that I will not, by the 
frowns or flatteries of this delusive world, be di- 
verted from this one purpose of keeping close 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 69 

to God, and expecting from him every thing 
which I need." 

Perhaps few persons have been more prudent 
in their remarks concerning others than Mrs. 
E. And yet her humility led her to speak of 
herself as follows. — " I find in myself a hateful 
propensity to speak of things which had better 
be let alone — which cannot profit myself or any 
one else. Am resolved to set a watch over my 
tongue, and pray that I may never speak from 
passion or vain glory, and never to the injury of 
any one. O that I may know that I have a 
spark of benevolence in my heart, by feeling a 
desire to hide the faults of my fellow creatures 
from a censuring world. 

" June \\th i 1822. — I desire to record the 
goodness of God this morning, that he has given 
me light in my understanding — that my views 
are more clear on the atonement, and that I feel 
more sensible love to Christ. It must be strong 
love to overcome in me this habit of doubting. 
I pray that a consciousness of pardoning mercy 
may often renew i sensations of penitence/ as 
well as a sense of guilt : and that I may feel 
some moments of holy joy, though ever bedewed 
with tears of humiliation. 
6* 



70 MEMOIR OF 

" July 8th. — My heavenly Father, after giving 
thee thanks, I hasten to record thy great good- 
ness, thy unbounded mercy, for the consolation 
thou hast given me in this late interview with 
two of my children. O thou knowest how un- 
worthy I am of so great a blessing. I pray 
that I may always feel it ; and give thee, with- 
out any secret reserve, all the glory ; and re- 
joice in thy goodness, confidently believing that 
thou wilt carry on thy own begun work, and 
that thy name will thus be glorified. Do, dear 
Saviour, cause that they may be spiritually 
minded, and that they may not fall into error. 
O carry these tender lambs — these helpless or- 
phans, in thy bosom ; and, O do not leave nor 
forsake my other child. It seems to me that 
thou wilt not. 

" August 16th. — * * * Dear Saviour, 
has the Father committed them into thine hands ? 
If so, thou wilt keep them. May it not be for 
thy glory to carry these tender lambs in thine 
arms through this evil world, and ever prevent 
them from dishonoring thy cause ? May every 
event of their lives be so ordered by thee as to 
work in them self-abasement, meekness of soul, 
serious reflection, and a hatred to all sin. May 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 7L 

they bo quick to discern in themselves all the 
workings of sin, and always to distinguish sin 
from holiness, Thou knowest, dear Saviour, 
that all my hope concerning them is in the power 
of thy grace. O that I may always penitently 
wash thy feet with my tears, and wipe them 
with the hairs of my head. Will the Lord hear 
my petition for my other child. Thou wilt not 
spurn me from thy presence because my wants 
are many and great. 

"Sept. 1st. — O my God, what wonders hast thou 
wrought 1 Thou knowest that my heart overflows 
with gratitude. I thank thee that thou hast let 
me live to witness what I have this day. Two 
of my children, with twenty others, have with 
their own hands subscribed to be the Lord's — 
to walk in all thy commandments and ordinances 
blameless. O God of mercy, thou knowest how 
insufficient they are of themselves for these 
things. But O may thy grace abound in them ; 
and they always abound in every good word 
and work. O for thy dear Son's sake wilt thou 
keep them as in the hollow of thy hand. O may 
they always feel what they are, and what thou 
hast redeemed them from ; and may their song 
ever be ' Worthy is the Lamb that was slain.' 



'?2 MEMOIR OF 

" O thou searcher of hearts ! thou knowest 
my trembling anxiety for my children, notwith- 
standing the everlasting truth that, if thy grace 
is implanted in their hearts, thou wilt cause it to 
spring up and bear fruit which shall be to the 
glory of thy grace ; and wilt also cause them to 
endure unto the end. Thou knowest ' how 
many false and fruitless blossoms adorn the 
smiling spring,' how many seeds spring up, but 
perish because they have no depth of earth. 
' The force of temptation has not yet been en- 
dured — the world has not half exhausted its 
quiver of poisoned arrows ; Satan has not yet 
tried all his arts and machinations; the race is 
not yet run.' O that they may, then, both take 
hold of Christ's strength, and never let go the 
hem of his garment. Help me to plead thy 
promises with a believing heart ; and for my 
other child also, that his soul may be saved." 

To her eldest son, dated Sept. 11, 1822. 

"A , — Your importunity with me last 

Sabbath to try to relieve your mind, has led me, 
I humbly trust, to carry your case to the throne 
of grace, and there leave it. Tt is very natural 
for a child, when in trouble, to go to a parent 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 73 

for relief. I am thankful, however, my dear 
child, that your present wants are such that I 
cannot satisfy them. I am thankful that our 
blessed Saviour has said ' come unto me, all ye 
that labor and are heavy laden, and /will give 
you rest/ I am thankful also that our kind and 
merciful God has made you feel that you need a 
rest for your soul. Do you think it would give 
me joy to see you left in a self-complacent spirit, 
saying ' All these have I kept — what lack I yet? ' 
No ; I had much rather see you smiting on your 
breast, in the sincerity of your soul, and crying 
1 God be merciful to rne a sinner .' Who has 
shown you that you are a sinner? who told the 
woman of Samaria all things that ever she did ? 
She had just asked for that living water which 
the Saviour had been telling her about; and 
probably thought it would be a very happy thing 
never to thirst again. But ah ! she did not know 
that this living water could not be given while 
a thirst for sin remained. She did not know, 
that, before she could take one draught, she 
must stand alone, ashamed, and confounded 
under a sense of guilt for her past life. Do you 
think that, after this disclosure, she felt any 
more worthy to receive this precious gift ? Mark 



74 MEMOIR OF 

this one- thing — she did not once suspect thafc 
she was now receiving this living water, by being 
made to know that c this is the Christ.' And 
how did she know this? Because he i told me all 
things that ever i did.' And why did he not, 
after this, leave her to practice sin again, instead 
of going into the city to proclaim a Saviour? 
Because he meant to be glorified in giving her 
this blessed draught of spiritual instruction — ■ 
(John iv. 23, 24.) so that now, that she had 
seen herself, and seen her Saviour, she could 
leave her water-pot, leave all her self-dependen- 
ces, all her distressing fears for the past, and 
march with cheerful feet to proclaim glad tidings, 
to enliven society, to seek out new duties, new 
pleasures, and forget herself. — She had enough 
to do to remember her Saviour. 

" Albert, I do not write thus to you because / 
have done so ; but I do mean now to leave alt 
and run. Perhaps if I had marched boldly and 
cheerfully forward, you would have followed me 
without these clogs. I suppose if you had felt 
as you now do before making a profession of 
religion, you would not feel so much alarmed. 
We will bring some other person to view for a 
moment. Suppose Constantine B. Would God 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 75 

"be more angry with him for standing in his 
courts, and attempting to make a surrender of 
himself to Him who he hoped had changed his 
heart, than for attempting to pray, or even to eat 
his daily food without right motives ? Must he 
not keep close to his word and ordinances, with 
a steadfast eye towards Him who has died to 
fulfil all righteousness; hoping and believing 
that this dear Saviour, who has bid him plead 
his merits, will throw his mantle of love over him, 
and keep him from living to himself, or from apos- 
tatizing from the way of truth. Though he should 
always feel condemned before God, yet ought he 
ever to be willing to open afresh those dear 
bleeding wounds by indifference, by ingratitude, 
or by wishing to be saved in any other way than 
that pointed out in the divine word ? Should he 
try to bring peace of conscience by disobeying 
or perverting the Scriptures, his case might be 
thought desperate indeed. 

"O my child, may you be instructed effectu- 
ally by him whoteacheth as 'never man' taught. 
I do not think it the best way, when reading 
the exercises of those who have made great at- 
tainments in grace, to measure ourselves by 
them, and then, because we have not attained 



76 MEMOIR OF 

the same, to give all over, and cease to be thank- 
ful for what we have received. So did not St. 
Paul. It is better, when such feelings corne on, 
to go directly to hunting for something to be 
thankful for. — Did Christ wait for every attain- 
ment in grace, before he pronounced the sinner's 
forgiveness ; He waited for repentance ; faith, 
and love. He waited for the woman who was 
a sinner, to come behind him, and wash his feet 
with her tears, and wipe them with the hairs of 
her head. He waited for the woman of Canaan 
to worship him, after she had cried for help ; 
and then, instead of letting her feel that there 
was any merit in the cry of a dog, he waited 
until she was willing to accept the crumbs that 
fell from her master's table; knowing there was 
eternal life in every crumb received by faith ; 
and then he granted her request. We had better 
try to forget ourselves. Probably Daniel was 
praying for the ' peace of Jerusalem/ towards 
which his face was directed through his open 
windows, at the very instant his own life was in 
such imminent danger. Be that as it may, he 
found something to be thankful for ; and that 
same God to whom he prayed, and made sup- 
plication, delivered him from the paws of the 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 77 

lions, as well as his companions out of the raging 

furnace. O, A , I pray that the adversary's 

mouth may be shut against you, and the fires of 
temptation have no power to burn, and your song 
ever be ' Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Me- 
shach, and Abednago, who hath sent his angel 
and delivered his servant that trusted in him/ 
" Your affectionate mother, 

" E. Egerton." 

" Oct. 5, 1822.— O Lord, wilt thou help me 
to record, with a thankful heart, the transactions 
of last Sabbath— a day of communion — a me- 
morable day to me, when thou didst graciously 
permit me to approach thy table with two of my 
children. Their hearts are in thine hand ; I 
pray thee to fashion them according to thy will ; 
and O may they, by thy grace, be found at last 
at thy right hand. Wilt thou in mercy dispel 
the darkness that spreads such a dreadful gloom 
over the mind of my son. O may this be for 
thy glory and his soul's good.'' 

To her eldest son, dated Nov. 1822. An 
extract. 

" What, then, will you do ? Must you go 

7 



78 MEMOIR OF 

mourning all your days under a sense of guilty 
and a dread of the presence of God 1 O that I 
could find words to express the worth of redeem- 
ing love. Angels know it not. No creature 
knows it, but he that knows himself and still 
thirsts after righteousness. Redeeming love r 
I want you to press the subject home, and not 
rest in a general belief, that, as Christ has died 
for sinners, you may sometime or other hope to 
be saved. Be eager to embrace a Saviour now. 
How long must Christ stand with open arms, 
and w 7 e be still halting, and fearing that he has 
not died for us ? O, my child, this subject draws 
tears from my eyes, because I feel it. But, my 
dear son, could 1 shed fountains of tears over 
you, it would not wash away your transgressions, 
nor atone for one sin. But one drop of Christ's 
atoning blood, applied by faith, can purge your 
guilty soul from all its impurities. Cannot you, 
for once, lift your eyes to that blessed sacrifice ? 
Do you ever lose sight of yourself, and rejoice 
that there will be some saved, whether you are 

or not f A •, have you ever prayed for me ? 

You do not know what a sinner I am, and never 
will, unless you see my sins all set against me at 
the judgment day. Pray for me. Pray for your 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 79 

sister and brother. Pray for the family where 
you live. Pray for the church of God — for new 
converts, for old professors. Pray for the heathen. 
To see how those poor creatures learn the way, 
and how cheerfully they walk in it under all 
their discouragements, will make you ashamed 
ever to complain, even of your inward trials. 
Since you have so faithful an Advocate, so com- 
passionate a Father and Guide, O fly to his 
arms, and there closely abide. — Do you know 
you have got to fight every inch of ground heav- 
enward with the resolution of a conqueror, ivitli 
the perseverance of a martyr 1 And yet you can 
gain no ground without the dependence of a child, 
the obedience of an angel, and the faith of an 
Abraham. Nor can you gain all this at once ; 
yet the prize lies before you. Will you sink 
into despondency 1 Or will you arise, lay hold 
on Christ's strength, and win at last?" 

I cannot but pause for a moment, to view, 
with my readers, the attitude of this widowed 
mother at that interesting crisis in the history of 
her children. You behold her trembling with 
solicitude on their account — travailing again in 
birth for their immortal life ; at one moment 



80 MEMOIR OF 

wrestling with God in prayer for them ; the next ? 
turning to them with eyes of pity and words of 
faithfulness ; the next, stealing time from her 
arduous employment to write them long letters 
of instruction and exhortation, — how appropriate 
to the case in hand, the letters themselves will 
show. And they will show another thing, 
especially some parts of the last, how truly elo- 
quent is the unstudied language of a mother's 
heart, when sanctified and elevated by the re- 
ligion of Christ. 

" The first Sabbath in Jan. 1823.— O my Fa- 
ther in heaven, I thank thee that my life has been 
spared to witness the glory of thy grace, which 
has been manifested in this town the year past. 
O, I thank thee — yet this seems too low an ex- 
pression of what I have felt of the power of thy 
grace in my own soul. O Lard, help me to 
adore thee, help me to praise thee with unfeign- 
ed lips. Help me to make the language of the 
hymn which was read this afternoon all my own. 
May the disclosures of the secrets of my heart 
in the light of eternity show that I have this day 
been truly singing — 

1 Thou brightest, sweetest, fairest one 
Whom eyes have seen or angels known,* 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 81 

Can I be deceived, and feel what I have felt of 
thine excellences, of thy glory and goodness, 

Lord? — feel such delight in thine ordinances, 
in thy worship, in the society of those who are, 
in the eye of charity, followers of the Lamb ? 

1 may be deceived, but thou canst not be de- 
ceived. O may thy grace be sufficient for me. 
Wilt thou perfect what thou hast begun in me. 
O my God, hast thou indeed ransomed the souls 
of my children, who have this day had the privi- 
lege of participating with me the ordinance of 
the Lord's supper 1 Wilt thou, then, O Lord, 
grant me this one request, which I hope is 
dictated by the spirit of thy grace — Keep them 
unto the end. O blessed Saviour, wilt thou re- 
member that my heavenly Father has given me 
one child more, whom I desire to give back to 
thee. O do accept of him also, as the purchase 
of thy blood." 

Such secrets of retirement as the following, 
could they be more frequently brought to light, 
might perhaps serve to convince some pastors, 
who have a good degree of confidence in the 
promises of God, that they might also safely 
exercise more confidence in the sympathy and 
prayers of their church, 
7* 



82 MEMOIR OF 

" Third Sabbath in Jan. 1823.— I do believe 
the prayers of God's people have been heard for 
our minister. He has been wonderfully assisted 
this day ; may his labors be blessed abundantly. 
Do, Lord, make us to be what he has told us 
this day we ought to be. His text was in 
Mark, xiv. 70.— c Surely thou art one of them, 
for thou art a Galilean, and thy speech agreeth 
thereto.' A Christian's deportment will distin- 
guish him from the world in general. He will 
breathe the language of humility, of prayer, of 
devotedness to God. He will delight in religious 
ordinances ; his heart will be with God's people ; 
he will be so abstracted from the world, as not 
to hold such intercourse with it as would endan- 
ger the growth of grace in his heart. His con- 
duct will 'speak' of repentance, of sobriety, 
of temperance, of good will towards mankind, 
of perseverance in every Christian grace and 
duty even unto the end of life ; and then will 
his ' speech' prove him to have been one of 
them, not to the persecuting Jews, but to 
approving angels, and an assembled universe; 
nor will it be found to differ essentially from 
the language of Canaan, which he will thence- 
forth speak in its purity forever." 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 83 

To her two children, residing at Mr. N.'s. 

"JulyS, 1823. 
" My dear children, — Before I proceed, I 
wish to acknowledge the favor that I can address 
you both together ; not only as residing together, 
but as I hope, having similar exercises of mind 
with regard to the one great point — the salvation 
of your souls. The mercies of God to us are 
not small. Could you feel this truth as I do, 
the most powerful address I could make to your 
feelings would be, to ( beseech you by the mer- 
cies of God. 5 

" I have lately felt rather an uncommon solici- 
tude for you. Job said, ' It may be that my 
sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts. .' 
My late impressions have been like this — f It may 
be that my children have sinned in blessing them- 
selves in their heart — in beginning to feel a de- 
gree of self-satisfaction and security, which will 
lead, by imperceptible advances, to those depart- 
ures of heart from the purity of gospel precepts ; 
and which, while they excite no alarm, will be 
sure to draw down the judgments of heaven/ 
We must not forget that God does not slumber 
ivhen ice do. What he has once taught us is 



84 MEMOIR OF 

ever fresh in his recollection. He is ever mind- 
ful of his own honor — will ever vindicate his 
own character. If, while here, we surfer our 
eyes to be closed to the light he has given us, 
or our affections to grow cold to the love he 
has revealed in his Son ; the light of eternity 
will brin^ these things in full review before us. 
We shall see in that awful hour, that God has 
not been unmindful of his own truth, justice, 
and holiness. Whoever does not praise him 
with cheerful hallelujahs, will then see that the 
' wrath of man shall praise him. ? There is a 
wide difference between confidence in God, and 
a presumptuous security. I should rejoice to 
have your language always be * The Lord is my 
Shepherd; 1 shall not want. He mdketli me ta 
He down in green pastures ; he leadeth me beside 
the still ivaters. He restoreth my soul; he lead" 
eth me in the paths of righteousness for his 
name's sake.' Mark this — 'For his name's 
sake.' Do not lose sight of it for a moment, 
that all good comes from God, and let all your 
wishes centre in him. Act for God. and feel 
that you are his. It seems to me that, as far 
as these feelings and purposes predominate in 
the heart, they will destroy that self-preference.. 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 85 

and carnality of soul, which must prevent the 
love of God from dwelling in one richly y and 
cause him to abound in every good word and 
zvork. I call no action good which is not per- 
formed out of pure love to God, and unmixed 
desires to do his will, with a oneness of heart 
and soul. O my sins in this respect ' are ever 
before me. 3 My constant prayer is ' Lord, show 
me my transgressions and my sins.' What an ef- 
fectual cure for self-exaltation is the sight of these ! 
Mr. M. has just called, as he was passing by, 
to ask my advice concerning A. Says he is un- 
willing to study the Bible, or to attend on the 
Sabbath. I am thankful he is still not out of 
the hands of a God of power and mercy. He 
has not had such instruction as you have had. 
Have you a heart to pray for your brother ? May 
your faithfulness testify for you. I wish you to 
make the remainder of this week a season of 
self-examination. I pray God to assist you. 

" I am more confined here than I was last 
■summer, because of the necessity of being in 
the school-house Sabbath mornings. Have 
much better success than I had expected, in 
attempting a Sabbath school. 



86 MEMOIR OF 

"A., I want to get some tracts. Can you 
dispose of any you have ? If so, please send 
them to Your affectionate mother, 

"E. Egerton." 

"March 6th, 1825. — Had news, the week 
past, of sister Converse's death, who left this 
town last September for Ohio, where her re- 
mains now lie. Thus silently move on the 
wheels of time. Although disregarded by us, 
eternal realities hang on its wing. O, my sister, 
how cheerfully didst thou bid me farewell ! 
How little did I realize that to be thy last look 
upon me, and thy own native land ! I try now 
to follow thee in my imagination to thy long, 
long home. O my sister, how solemn the 
thought ! thy race is run! What an insignificant 
spot does this earth seem to thee now. Oh, has 
heaven broke upon thy ravished sight? Hast 
thou seen God thy Redeemer ? Has he smiled 
upon thee, and bid thee welcome to his Father's 
throne ? Has he thrown his mantle over thee — 
blotted out thy sins, and tuned thy voice to 
never-ceasing anthems of praise? How then can 
I mourn for thee my sister? How can I, but for 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 87 

this, I am still in a land of mourning and of 
awful uncertainties. I never could look into 
thine heart, and know that it was transformed 
into the Saviour's image. My imagination will 
reverse the scene, and say it may be God has 
not smiled upon thee. I indulge not this thought 
for thy sake now, my sister, I have no right to 
pry into thy destinies, but for my own sake, that 
the dread thought of banishment from God may 
lead me to overcome the world with all its earth- 
born propensities ; and, feeling where my help 
lies, to throw myself at the feet of sovereign 
mercy, imploring grace from that never-failing 
fountain to enable me to make a right improve- 
ment of this event, and all others which have 
a tendency to wean my affections from earth, 
I desire to ' glorify God with my body and spirit 
which are his.' O may our voices, through the 
merits of our crucified Redeemer, re-unite in 
that eternal song of praise to the Lamb. 

"Aug. 10th. — Have had a most astonishing 
proof of my unfaithfulness to God this day. 
Notwithstanding I am so fully convinced of the 
duty of social prayer in my school, and have 
constantly practised it night and morning, to 



88 MEMOIR OF 

my shame, confusion, and guilt of conscience I 
record it, that this afternoon I have sinfully 
shrunk from this duty, on account of the pres- 
ence of worms of the dust. What makes the 
sin appear more awfully alarming is, that one 
male member of the church was present, con- 
cerning whom I have felt distressed ; and for 
whom I have prayed. O, how could I have 
thought that, instead of setting him an example 
of faithfulness which he so much needs, I should 
turn coward and traitor to my Lord 1 O, my 
God, what can I do ? How can I bear to think 
and know that I have no more strength of prin- 
ciple — no more strength of affection ? — I hardly 
dare hope for forgiveness, for fear my repentance 
is not genuine. I have no excuse to offer, 
neither dare to resolve in future. 'Behold I 
was shapen in iniquity. 5 I will fall prostrate 
before thee, O God ; and beseech thee to ' hide 
thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine 
iniquities/ &,c. 

' Shouldst thou but turn a frowning face. 
Where could my guilty spirit fly ? 
Great God, the balm of thy rich grace 
Applied, must save me — else I die. 7 7/ " 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 89 

Let the youthful reader, and especially the 
instructress of youth, attentively consider the 
above extract. If a single omission of praying 
with her scholars, during the whole course of 
this excellent woman's instructing, occasioned 
her such pungent reflections and bitter repent- 
ings, what will, sooner or later, be the feelings 
of those whose omissions of this most important 
duty are as numerous, perhaps, as the days of 
their instructing ? 

" Sept. 14^.— An afflictive providence has 
again taught me the solemn lesson, that every 
thing here is fading; and every beating pulse is 
hastening the closing scene of my earthly career. 
— A blooming little girl who has attended my 
school four successive summers, has sickened and 
died by my side ; yes, while boarding in the 
family with her, I have been called to see her 
fond father and afflicted mother bid a last, long 
— long farewell. O may it teach me this salu- 
tary lesson, to perform the duties of each day in 
the fear of God ; expecting to be called, perhaps 
the next, to give account of my stewardship. I 
feel that my life is forfeited, and that every 
day is a reprieve through the mere mercy of 
8 



90 MEMOIR OF 

Jehovah. One of the hymns sung at the funeral 
was the beautiful one of Mrs. Steele, commen- 
cing with— 

' So fades the lovely blooming flower/ &c. 

and ending with the following — 

1 Then gentle patience smiles on pain, 
And dying hope revives again ; 
She wipes the tear from sorrow's eye, 
While faith points upward to the sky. 
The promise guides her ardent flight, 
And joys unknown to sense invite 
Those blissful regions to explore, 
Where pleasure blooms to fade no more.' n 

In the following extracts, as in many others, 
the reader cannot fail of noticing some of the 
actings of her pious mind. To view her heaven- 
ly Father as also the Father of lights, from whom 
cometh down every good gift, had long since 
become in her a second nature ; nor less so to 
view her fellow creatures, and especially her 
children, with a look that seemed to say "I 
long to have you good and happy" 

" Dec. 7th. — Was ever a poor helpless worm 
called to so much gratitude and thanksgiving. 
Lord, I desire to praise thee, and to record thy 
merciful interposition in placing my dear child 
A., for a season, in this dear family ; with such 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 91 

beloved friends; and that I am also permitted to 
reside with them. O Lord, my anxiety for him 
has been all known to thee. I thank thee that 
thou hast heard me. * I know that thou nearest 
me always. 5 But what are my poor thanks? 
Lord, glorify thyself. O permit me to ask, 
humbly and confidently, one thing more of thee 
— a favor which thou only canst bestow ; that 
this season may be a time of thy love towards 
this child, in bringing him to repentance, and 
to embrace the truth as it is in Jesus. As far as 
I know myself, I can appeal to thee for the sin- 
cerity of my desires, that thy name may be glori- 
fied by this event, and by all the mercies which 
thou exercisest towards me and mine. 

"Jan. 2ist, 1826. — How many mercies have 
I neglected to note down, since this year com- 
menced.-- — Have to-day been permitted to visit 
my son Albert's school. There appeared to be 
improvement and prosperity ; but I know not 
whether there is at present any special tender- 
ness of conscience, either in teacher or scholars. 
Will the Lord grant that there may be in both 
great searchings of heart, and that their eternal 
interests may not be kept out of sight. O may 
thy young servant feel the worth of souls ; and 



92 MEMOIR OF 

that he is now acting for eternity. Will the 
Lord make him useful in this employment, and 
faithful to his own soul. — Have had the privilege 
of attending a prayer meeting this evening, at 
which the idea was advanced that ' religion will 
cost its possessor something ; but the want of it, 
infinitely more.' O that I may understand the 
way of life, and what my daily course amounts 
to. What sacrifice do I make for God ? Is there 
any life in my soul ; or am I prating moay my 
time, my privileges, my instructions, my pfiljjp s- 
sion, like the parrot, without any soundness of 
heart, or any motive above my own gratifica- 
tion." 

Mrs. Egerton appears to have been experi- 
mentally acquainted with a practice of the pious 
king of Israel, as alluded to in the titles of some 
of his psalms — " a psalm to call to remem- 
brance ; " and to have observed particular sea- 
sons of reviewing the history of her own life, in 
connection with the divine dealings with her. 
Experience had doubtless taught them both, as 
well as thousands of others now in heaven, that 
taking a concentrated view of God's mercies 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 93 

towards them, had a direct tendency to soften 
the hard heart, and make the willing feet— 

u In sweet obedience move.' 7 

The following seems to have been written on 
such an occasion. 

"Feb. Wtli, 1826.— Forty-two years has the 
Lord spared me upon earth. I may well put 
the question ' What have I been doing all this 
while?' Truly it has been a life of unprofitable- 
ness, of c vanity, and vexation of spirit.' Upon 
taking a retrospective view of my past life, I 
can say that 'goodness and mercy have followed 
me all my days.' In early childhood, the Lord 
saw fit to deprive me of earthly parents. But how 
soon did he raise up those who acted the part of 
parents towards me. During my youth, the Lord 
mercifully interposed and delivered me from the 
snares and temptations into which I might have 
fallen, and caused me to have such instruction 
as was necessary to guard my wayward feet. 
At length he granted me a kind companion, 
and a home where I had every thing convenient 
for me. But, alas ! I look back on these stages 
of my life with a kind of horror, for the many 
sins then committed, for my estrangedness of 



94 MEMOIR OF 

heart from God, and proneness to seek my- 
self in every thing. A thirst for human praise, 
and a desire to have things turn to my own ad- 
vantage, I think, have been the mainsprings of 
actions through my sinful course. Even after I 
professed to love the Lord, and thought I took 
great delight in divine things, what a sink of 
iniquity was my heart ! How unfeeling towards 
others, how tyrannical, how proud, how vain ! 
O Lord, have I not mourned over my many 
defects, and wept in secret places for them? 
May they not appear in judgment against me at 
the great day, when the secrets of all hearts 
shall be made manifest. To show me myself, 
thou, Lord, didst take from me my earthly com- 
forts. Ten years have I wandered a widow, 
and my children fatherless. Thy judgments, 

Lord, are right, and have been wonderfully 
interspersed with mercies. Although I have 
been called from place to place, yet never have 

1 been* left to say f I have not where to lay my 
head.' The Lord has raised up friends who 

lave been near and dear to me. I have not 
leserved this favor, nor have been worthy of 
heir friendship. He has wonderfully interposed 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 95 

for my children, beyond what I could have 
dared to ask — food and raiment, friends and 
patrons, instruction and faculties capable of im- 
provement. I am not without hope also, that 
they receive, with some degree of attention, 
instruction in things divine. Can I ever forget 
the mercies of the winter past, or cease to be 
grateful ? Will the Lord hear my prayers for A. 
and for each of them. I lean upon his merciful 
arm. All my hope for my children centres in 
him alone. I desire to begin this year of my 
life with a self-denying spirit ; and pray that I 
may be enabled to exercise self-control, and an 
humble trust in God and entire acquiescence in 
his will, and to make a right use of every event 
which transpires. 

" April VZth. — The Lord has brought me into 
a situation to prove the sincerity of the above 
desire, and to try the strength of my faith, and 
call into exercise every Christian grace. God's 
blessed word ! and his restraining grace ! what 
could I do without them? O that I might keep 
my eye upon the mark, and bury every selfish 
groveling passion beneath the rubbish of earth- 
born cares, and trust in God most confidently, 
and perseveringly pursue the path of duty." 



96 MEMOIR OF 

The trial hinted at above, was the distressing 
and dangerous sickness of a near friend, on 
whom she felt it her duty to attend ; denying 
herself the enjoyment of her own children's so- 
ciety, in a family to which she was much attach- 
ed. (See the extract of Dec. 7.) A sense of 
duty in administering to the necessities of the 
sick and afflicted sometimes led her to go beyond 
her strength. Still the greatest trial of all was, 
that it should be at all " a cross to her " to en- 
dure such hardships and privations. 

" June 3d. — Feeling that all mercies flow 
immediately from the hand of God, I would now 
especially notice this, of restoring sister A. to 
such a measure of health, that I have been ena- 
bled to leave her and commence my school. O 
what can I do for the Lord, who is ever mindful 
of me in every situation that he sees fit to place 
me in ? How much better has he been to me 
than my fears ! I asked for grace to enable me 
to bear the trial with Christian constancy and a 
heavenly aim, if not permitted to come hither. 
Now I ask that the same grace may enable me 
to act the part of a faithful child towards God. 
It is not enough that I am gratified. God, my 
preserver, must be glorified. 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 97 

" July 9th. — Sabbath. — This day's exercises 
were made more interesting by L. E.'s being 
drawn into the meeting-house in his wheeled 
chair, that he might have opportunity to com- 
mune with the people of God. After the exer- 
cises, he made a solemn and affecting address to 
the congregation. While hearing him speak, 
the breathings of my soul were ' What hath 
God wrought ! ' It seemed almost like one sent 
from the dead. My prayer to God was, that he 
would work by his servant as well as in him, in 
making him an instrument of bringing salvation 
to this people. " 

The gentleman alluded to, had become hope- 
fully pious at the commencement of a confine- 
ment of several years, by a distressing disease, 
from which he had never expected to recover. 
During his address he had remarked, that ' he 
then occupied the very spot in the broad-aisle, 
which a year before he was expecting his coffin 
would occupy.' The difference was, that he 
was brought in and placed there a living man 
instead of a corpse. A voice from the dead 
truly. 



98 MEMOIR OP 

" July 30th.— * * * How dreadful the 
thought of being a mock-worshipper all my days ; 
and going from thy blessed sanctuary here to the 
realms of wretched despair. Sometimes it gives 
a momentary relief to reflect that no one ever 
attained to perfect holiness here. But this will 
not suffice. I feel that there is in me a dread- 
ful deep-sealed earthliness of motive, and desire, 
and the workings of mind towards self, while 
engaged in the worship of God, which others 
have been enabled to overcome, and which I 
believe must be overcome, to maintain a walk 
with God. 

<c Oct. 10th. — This day closed my school in 
the western part of the town, where I have been 
thus employed five successive summers. The 
thought that this is probably the last season I 
shall ever spend here — parting with many dear 
friends, and especially these dear children, who 
seem so precious, for whom I have often prayed, 
and have tried to lead their tender minds to 
God, added to the anxiety I feel for their future 
welfare, excite many tender emotions, while I 
attempt to commit them all into the hands of my 
merciful God and Redeemer. " 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 99 

•I shall close this part of the sketch with a 
brief extract from a letter to her eldest son, 
written sometime in the summer of 1826, 

" A , I must make one proposal to which 



I expect you will be loth to accede. I would 
not Willingly do anything that I knew would be 
injurious to you, or hinder your progress in 
study. If I should procure a house next fall, I 
feel as though 1 could not do without your as- 
sistance, until I could get things in readiness 
for house-keeping. What I wish to suggest is 
this — whether it would not be as well for you not 
to enter college till next spring. You could 
be there but a short time, before the season 
would arrive for teaching school ; and that would 
be the very time I should most need your assist- 
ance. If Esq. N should say anything to you on 

the subject, I beg you not to forget for a moment 
how amiable it is in a youth to give all defer- 
ence to age and judgment, founded on experi- 
ence. * * * He knows that I am but a 
woman of limited capacity with regard to the 
transactions of business. How could I do with- 
out such a friend? or how can you? And neither 
he, nor any other man of good sense and tender 



100 MEMOIR OF MRS. EGERTON. 

feelings, would continue long t'o be such an one, 
unless he should see implicit confidence exer- 
cised by the one he befriends. You cannot see 
this subject as I do, until you are brought to 
feel the need of a friend, when in bitterness of 
soul This time I have seen ; and God forbid 
that a selfish heart should ever render me un- 
grateful. # * * I have never thought you 
wanting in attention, or lacking in affection 
for me. Have taken great courage from this 
fact, to hope that a blessing from heaven would 
be bestowed on you. 

I am glad to see you set upon getting a thor- 
ough education ; but am inclined to think, that 
a person of good capacities may do more for 
himself by way of preparation, than he could 
anticipate before making the experiment. 
" Have no room to add more. 

" Your Mother." 

Allusion is here made to an event in Mrs. 
Egerton's life, which will be more fully narrated 
in the next division. 



CHAPTER V. 

From her recommencing 1 house-keeping" till her death. 

St. Paul somewhere speaks of "her who is a 
widow indeed." It is not, perhaps, easy to 
ascertain the precise meaning of the word " in- 
deed," in this part of divine inspiration. If it 
was designed to indicate those widows who 
p *eferred continuing such, to forming any con- 
nection which would probably at all diminish 
their Christian usefulness, and growth in grace, 
Mrs. Egerton was doubtless one of them. Not- 
withstanding the numerous and flattering pro- 
posals of marriage made to her during her wid- 
owhood, she preferred, on the whole, " so to 
remain." This preference arose not, in the least, 
from anything unsocial or undomestic in her 
disposition ; but wholly from the considerations 
above alluded to. 
9 



102 MEMOIR OF 

In her view, it was not enough even that the 
partner of a professed Christian should be a 
professed Christian ; for a union so sacred, on 
any other principle than this, she considered as 
altogether out of the question ; but their cir- 
cumstances, views, and dispositions should be 
so far congenial, that the connection might be 
reasonably expected to increase the sum of hu- 
man happiness. It was, therefore, her uniform 
practice, feeling her own liability to misjudge of 
character, to commit the decision of such cases 
to her heavenly Father ; and, after they were 
decided, to render unfeigned thanks to him for 
" directing her mind on a subject in which she 
felt willing to rely entirely on the wisdom and 
mercy of God to direct;" and then would she 
rest " entirely satisfied, that the matter had been 
decided right." 

In the year 1826, having come to what she 
considered a final decision of this nature, she 
concluded it would be her duty to spend the 
remainder of her life in a settled habitation. 
Having therefore purchased a house, near the 
centre of Randolph, and taking home her two 
eldest children, she recommenced house-keep- 
ing in September of that year. 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 103 

It was a neat little dwelling, situated a few 
rods southwest of the meeting-house, and west 
of the grave-yard, with a small garden lot ex- 
tending to the north and west. These appa- 
rently trifling circumstances may be properly 
considered characteristic of her taste with regard 
to what she considered a desirable earthly home — 
a convenient situation in ivhich to prepare for her 
future and eternal one. Here, was a garden and 
other conveniences for the comfort of her mortal 
part as long as it should live ; and there, a place 
for its safe deposit when it should live no longer. 
Close by, was also the place where she could 
procure weekly supplies for that nobler part 
which should live forever. 

The mansion was not large ; but then it con- 
tained apartments of sufficient size, and proper- 
ly arranged, for holding frequent communion 
with the King of kings. Besides, it would be 
easier to set it in order, than if it were large, 
when she should be called to leave it. 

Here, then, she was permitted to enjoy no 
small portion of domestic comfort, in the society 
of her children and her Saviour, long enough, 
in the words of the poet — 

« Just to look about her, and to die." 



104 xMEMOIR OF 

From a lengthy article in her journal, written 
about this time, the following is extracted. 

" Oct. llth, 1826, — Just eleven years since 
the death of my husband, I have been enabled to 
go into a house which the Lord is permitting me 
to call my own. O Lord, I receive this gift as 
a lent favor from thee. O the unspeakable priv- 
ilege of having such a home, and of having my 
unprofitable life, and the lives of my children 
spared, so that I may receive them again under 
my own roof, with things convenient for them ; 
and may unite with them around the family 
altar, in prayer and praise ! O Lord, thou know- 
est my desires for my other child, who is not, 
in thy providence, permitted to reside with us. 

" Help me to remember all thy dealings with 
me ; for they have been in righteousness ; 
and all my afflictions, while tossed about with- 
out any certain dwelling place, have been in 
faithfulness, blended with unparalleled mer- 
cies. 1 feel that an eternity will not be too long 
to praise thee for such unmerited favors. How 
heartily can I adopt the language of Mrs. Gra- 
ham ! * Many ups and downs has thy servant ex- 
perienced in this vale of tears ; many waters have 
channeled these faded cheeks ; in a variety of 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 105 

ways thou hast stricken, and at times stripe has 
followed stripe ; but mercy and love accompani- 
ed every one of them.' I bless thee, I praise 
thee, for the discipline of the covenant, though I 
shall not understand all, until that blessed rod 
shall have perfected its correction, and shall 
never more be lifted up. 

" My prayer is unto thee, that I may con- 
duct aright in the situation in which thou 
hast placed me ; that I may not tempt thee 
to leave me and mine. What can we do 
without thee ? When thou givest me the things 
of this world, suffer me not to imbibe the 
spirit of the world, nor to forget the Giver. 
Keep us humble, dependent, spiritual. Enable 
us to receive all through a covenant channel, as 
the provision of our Father by the way through 
the wilderness. O may all be sanctified through 
the word and prayer ; and we be enabled to eat 
and drink, and do all to thy glory. " 

Extract of a letter to Miss A. N., a Christian 
sister, dated Nov. 1826. 

" My dear Ann will now find her friend E. 
engaged at her own household employments, 
9* 



106 MEMOIR OF 

eating at her own table. I hardly feel right to 
use this word i own,' because of my impressive 
sense of its being the Lord's, and only lent me 
for a season. O, my friend, I feel it — I know it, 
that I, an unfaithful servant, have forfeited 
every mercy at the hand of my kind Preserver. 
c What shall I render unto the Lord for all his 
mercies?' Am afraid of abusing his goodness, 
and of not making a sanctified use of what he 
has put into my hands. Will you not help me 
by your prayers, counsels, and admonitions, to 
order my household aright, and to walk before 
the Lord with a perfect heart ? Go not upon the 
supposition that 1 do ; but look at my weakness, 
dependence, liability to temptations, allurements, 
neglects, indiscretions, &c, when placed at the 
head of a family without any earthly guide or 
companion. Look at my need of wisdom and 
grace, at my responsibility in various ways, 
especially with regard to my children, and oth- 
ers who may reside with me as boarders. O 
think of an injured Saviour, if, after all his heav- 
enly chastisements to bring me to his arms, I 
should not glorify him with my body and spirit 
which are his. I feel confident of the protection 
and blessing of Jehovah in this undertaking, so 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 107 

far as it has been sought by humble prayer, 
with a right trust, and right motives. And 
surely any seeming blessing in any other way 
would be but a transient delusion." 

The increasing interest of her letters and 
diary subsequent to this date, would seem to 
warrant their insertion entire. But the increas- 
ing size of this little volume will still, for the 
most part, admit of only brief extracts and ab- 
stracts ; such as will especially illustrate Mrs. 
Egerton's character and religious history, in the 
situation in which she is now placed. 

"Jan. 1st. — On this first day of the year, 
gratitude to God calls upon me to take a retro- 
spective view of his mercies towards me and 
mine the year past. Surely my cup has over- 
flowed with mercies, more and greater than I 
should have dared to ask or even think. An 
unusual degree of health, employment which 
my heart desired and asked the Lord for, viz. 
instructing precious souls ; pleasant society ; 
some warm-hearted, endeared friends ; and, O 
what a mercy to name, a home with two of my 
children, who are pleasant, profitable, and dear 



108 MEMOIR OF 

to me. Situated near the house of God, where 
I enjoy the privileges of his sanctuary and ordi- 
nances with a relish for them ; with my Bible 
and Scott's notes, which are a daily feast ; other 
religious books and communications of the most 
interesting nature from all parts of the world ; 
where shall I stop enumerating mercies ? Da 
these all floio from a God who ivill not require 
anything at my hands in return? O, no. Lord, 
teach me what I shall render unto thee for all 
these mercies. But O, do not let temporal bles- 
sings bring leanness into my soul. Wilt thou 
condescend to go with me every step of the way 
through life's journey. Thou seest how my 
children need thine aid; and how I hang upon 
thy mercy for them. I will still hang upon thy 
mercy for them " 

I can hardly forbear to stop here, and ask the 
reader whether, with all of Mrs. Egerton's bles- 
sings", and perhaps many more, he is also blessed 
with her filial solicitude to make suitable ac- 
knowledgments to God for them. If so, he pos- 
sesses the true secret of earthly happiness. 

" Feb. 16th. — O indulgent Parent, thou who 
hast styled thyself ' the widow's God and Judge ; y 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 109 

thou hast been to me more than I could have 
expected from this tender assurance of thine ;" 
• — alluding again to the mercies of the past year, 
and especially " her pleasant situation with her 
children." These artless repetitions evidence a 
depth of parental attachment to them, as well as 
of filial attachment to her heavenly Parent, which 
are by no means common to all sustaining these 
relations, 

"Feb. 21st. — Somethings have taken place 
since the last date, which have led me to pour 
forth fervent supplications to God for his guid- 
ance and gracious interposition in my behalf. 
Mary says, ' Lord, if thou hadst been here, my 
brother had not died/ She little thought that 
her Lord, her Saviour, knew and felt every pang 
of her heart, and was purposing her relief even 
when thus accosted. She did not even think 
that he had such a tender regard for her, as to 
draw tears from his sacred eyes. Could she 
ever again distrust the kind care of her com- 
passionate Redeemer ? How many times has he 
also appeared for me. I will therefore say, 
* Lord, if thou ivilt be here, my burdened bosom 
will be relieved from its present anxieties ; and 



110 MEMOIR OF 

the path of duty made plain before me. I can- 
not move forward without thy direction. 

1 Guide me, O, thou great Jehovah/ 

ie March 6ih. — This day my affectionate child 
Albert left me — perhaps forever, to enter Dart- 
mouth college. I feel it to be an important 
crisis in his life. I thank God that mine has 
been spared to see the day, although it is pain- 
ful. It is not th^ thought of his absence that 
distresses me '/ but the eternal consequences 
of this day's? departure. O Lord, take him, 
from this hour, I pray thee, from this important 
day. Wilt thou make him a vessel of honor, 
fitted for his Master's use. I ask not for the 
honor of this world, the perishing distinctions of 
Jife; I ask — I plead, for that honor which Com- 
eth from God only, for that grace which flows 
from thy beneficent hand to lost sinners. And 
do I not hear thee say — 

' All needful grace will I bestow, 
And crown that grace with glory too? ;; ' 

To Miss A. N., April, 1827. 

" Dear sister, — Your two last faithful letters 
found me sitting like one in a dream, while his 
sportive imagination is fancying all to be lighl 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. m 

around him, excepting here and there a cloud 
reflected from the faithful mirror, conscience ; 
yet so meteor like, that he sees not the finger 
pointing him to that dark abyss which awaits 
the formal professor and grovelling worldling. — 
Through the mercy of God, I am so far aroused 
as to try to make this prayer of the Psalmist my 
own ; * Bring my soul out of prison, that I may 
praise thy name.' O the preciousness of a 
heavenly Advocate ! Yet there is a cloud resting 
on my mind with regard to taking hold on 
Christ. Will you throw some light on this sub- 
ject in your next ? 

"1 know of nothing that can counteract this 
s conformity to the world ' you speak of, but a ' 
disposition like our Saviour's, implanted by his 
grace. He did not abandon society, because 
there were impurities in it. He ate with publi- 
cans and sinners. What he saw positively sin- 
ful, he reproved. What was right, he com- 
mended. He always aimed at the accomplish- 
ment of good, and the acceptance of his heavenly 
Father; never losing sight of his own great 
errand on earth — the salvation of souls. He 
did not lean towards this party or that, to secure 
the favor of any, or omit any duty for fear of 



112 MEMOIR OF 

offending his most intimate friends. It is im- 
possible for me to set any bounds in my own 
mind with regard to outward things, or personal 
appearance, any further than this, that a person's 
judgment ought to be so regulated by the gospel, 
as never to depart from the strict rules of Chris- 
tian propriety, in conduct, conversation, or 
modes of dress. One must be his own judge in 
these things, according to the light thrown upon 
his mind by divine truth. ' Happy is he that 
condemneth not himself in the thing which he 
alloweth.' I do believe the blessing of God will 
follow a simplicity of intention to do right in his 
sight. Whether our bonnets be leghorn or silk ; 
whether we visit this neighbor or that, appears 
to me of little importance, in comparison with 
the motive by which we are actuated. If we 
are truly aiming at the greatest possible good, 
according to our own apprehension of duty, I 
think we shall be accepted, in whatever garb we 
may be. Aside from this, all our strictness in 
our intercourse with the world will be but the 
mark of a Caiaphas or a Judas. Not that a 
Christian will not be circumspect, but that this 
is not the criterion by which his character will 
be decided. He who sent the fair-spoken Ruler 



SIRS. EMILY EGERTON. 113 

a.way sorrowful, answered the first desire of a 
inalefactor at the point of death. 

" With regard to ( becoming all things to all 
men,' I do not know as I can express my views 
of it to your satisfaction. We have to move in, 
and mingle with, a world enveloped in moral 
darkness; who feel no spiritual obligations, and 
therefore cannot understand the motives of those 
who do. Should our manner towards such be 
censorious, or even cold and distant, it would be 
saying to their understandings, c Stand by thy- 
self, for I am holier than thou.' While this is 
the case, we can do them no good, A concilia- 
tory spirit, exercising charity in the true sense 
of the term, will have a tendency to win them to 
that which is praiseworthy ; and thus the way 
will be paved to carry conviction to their heart. 
I do not think the passage means that we should 
become ' turn coats, 5 and be in one place what 
we would not be in another ; but that we should 
have discernment enough to meet all classes of 
people according to their ignorance and preju- 
dices. The apostle says to Timothy, ' now the 
end of the commandment is charity, out of a 
pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of 
faith unfeigned.' O, my dear Ann y how depen- 
10 



114 MEMOIR OF 

dent are we upon that precious blood of cleansing \ 
to enable us to act according to the spirit of this 
passage. Your own, 

" E. Egerton." 

To the same, June, 1827. 

" I feel almost guilty to tell you that worldly 
cares have prevented my writing you ! for I 
know it will give you painful anxieties for my 
bodily health ; but more especially for my spirit- 
ual. It was so late in the season before Martha 
had a call to instruct, that we had concluded 
she would remain with me. Accordingly, we had 
just increased our number of boarders to eight, 
when so favorable an opportunity was offered 
her for instructing, that I thought it best for her 
to embrace it. I am therefore left with all this 
care and confinement upon my own hands. 

Albert has just returned to college. These 
two weeks that I had so much doated upon his 
being at home, have seemed comparatively but 
a day. How quickly sped ! How poorly im- 
proved! all hurry and bustle — ( Fit emblem of 
my life,' thought I, as the stage door closed, and 
J turned me towards my closet. ' The day of mr 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 115 

departure also must and will come.' A kind of 
dread foreboding seized me, that my work 
would not then be well done; having so much 
proof that the great end of my existence is so 
crowded out of view, from time to time. * * 
" It has been pleasant to see your aged pa- 
rents again in the land of the living. They 
number me with their children. I love to own 
the relation, and faithfully cherish it. Assuran- 
ces of my tenderest affection for you are un- 
necessary. O may our spirits never be sundered 
from each other, nor from our Saviour's love. 

e{ E. Egerton." 

It has been already hinted, that Mrs. Egerton 
was permitted to occupy her new earthly home 
just long enough to prepare for her heavenly 
one, and " to die." We are now drawing near 
that solemn event, of which a more particular 
account will be expected. Nor will it be diffi- 
cult, so far as facts are concerned, to satisfy this 
expectation. I love to dwell on scenes like this. 
And, although years have elapsed since the 
dreadfully interesting event, yet my memory can 
as readily recall its prominent circumstances now, 
as on the day after it transpired. Even now I 



110 MEMOIR OF 

seem to be entering again the door of the neat 
and peaceful mansion; to be stepping silently 
across the floor of the keeping-room, and casting 
a cautious glance through the half-shut door of 
the nurse-room, to see if she were asleep. I 
seem^to behold again her sunken eye, and hear 
her quick-fetched breath and half-suppressed 
cough. The medicine on the mantel-piece ; 
the row of books on the neatly spread bureau ; 
the near vale, and more distant Green moun- 
tains, at the west window before me ; the well 
dressed "garden of herbs 55 at my right hand ; 
the church-yard just behind me, all rendered 
more picturesque by the tints of the setting sun 

but softly, — she is awaking. " I am still 

here" she faintly articulates, as she perceives 
me near her bed side ; — " I expected before 
now to awake in a different world from this. 55 — - 
But to return. 

Not long after the last date, near the end of 
June, while engaged in her domestic concerns, 
and much exhausted by the care of boarding a 
number of students of the Academy, she took a 
violent cold, from neglecting to guard sufficient- 
ly against exposure to the chilling dews of 
Vermont. This cold settled upon her Iungs^ 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 117 

and occasioned a close confinement for several 
weeks. From this pulmonary affection, however, 
she partially recovered, and even had hopes of a 
complete restoration by means of a short journey 
which she expected to take in September. But 
these hopes were of short duration ; for, in that 
very journey, the rupture of a blood-vessel was 
indicated by a profuse hemorrhage from the 
lungs. She was indeed enabled to return home, 
but in so weak a state as to be unable to walk 
or sit for many weeks. She was now consider- 
ed to be in an awfully critical situation with 
regard to her earthly existence. ■* I seem my- 
self," said she, " to be hanging between two 
worlds.' 5 Not that she had much remaining 
doubt towards which of these worlds the balance 
would preponderate. That insidious disease 
had been too familiar to her, from his fatal visits 
to her parents and her husband, to be now a 
stranger in his nearer approaches to herself. 

She had before this, moreover, had a strong 
presentiment that her departure was near ; and 
considered it a great mercy that she was allowed 
of her heavenly Father so favorable a situation in 
which to prepare for it. " I enjoy," said she to 
her daughter, before her sickness, " I enjoy too 
10 * 



US MEMOIR OF 

much happiness in this endeared home, to con- 
tinue long in it." A similar expectation may 
perhaps be inferred from the extract last inserted, 
concerning her son's return to college. She 
had also a dream, while yet in perfect health, 
which could hardly fail of producing a monitory 
impression on her mind. I say a " monitory 
impression;' 7 for although as free from supersti- 
tious notions of every kind, as perhaps any per- 
son living, yet, according to scripture and her 
own experience, she firmly believed that a salu- 
tary impression of a truth already revealed, is 
frequently made with the greatest force on the 
mind which sleep has freed from the busy cares 
of earth. In this instance her fancy had por- 
trayed three suns, a larger one setting before 
two smaller ones in the eastern horizon — the 
direction of the church-yard. And who will 
blame a rational and active mind, ever looking 
beyond this transitory world, if these circum- 
stances should remind her of the cousumptive 
constitution, and probably early exit of herself 
and two children then with her, and thus prove 
the means of quickening her exertions to set her 
house in order ? But few have so constant and 
realizing an expectation of the approach of 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 119 

death, as not to be, after all, startled by its actu- 
al summons. That this was the case in some 
measure, even with Mrs. Egerton, may be in- 
ferred from an address of her's, which will be 
inserted in its proper place. 

From this confinement she was, however, re- 
stored in a few weeks, so far as to be able to 
sit, to walk the room, and engage in the devo- 
tions, and some of the conversations and em- 
ployments of the family. In this comparatively 
comfortable situation she continued during most 
of the months of December, January, and Feb- 
ruary ; enjoying uniformly great tranquillity of 
mind, an effect, doubtless of that peace of God 
which passeth all understanding. During this 
time she was enabled to make an occasional 
insertion in her journal. The following extracts 
may suffice to show some of her feelings and re- 
flections at that time. 

" Dec. 9th. — Once more the Lord has permit- 
ted me to guide the pen to record his mercies. 
After a distressing illness of five months. He has 
so far restored me as to be able in weakness of 
body to sing his praises, and rejoice in his loving 
kindness. He has dealt with me still in faith- 



120 MEMOIR OF 

fulness and covenant love, not willing that I 
should perish through a continued round of pros- 
perity. *- * * I know not as I have been 
left, while enjoying this pleasant home, to neg- 
lect a formal attention to the duties of the closet, 
nor any other known duties devolving upon me. 
But O, how were my seasons of devotion short- 
ened and interrupted by domestic concerns and 
fatigue, so that, when I left my devotions, my 
whole mind was again plunged into this vortex 
of worldly cares. The Lord, in faithfulness to 
my soul, while I was caring for the body, saw 
fit to bring upon me a season of affliction, to 
show me my disobedience to his righteous and 
merciful command— ( Seek first the kingdom of 
God and his righteousness, and all other things 
shall be added.' Thus, while I was running 
away from the fountain, my good Shepherd, — 
blessed be his name,— with kindly stripes bade 
me return. O, may I never stray again. 

"Jan. 2d, 1828.— Being unable to write yes- 
terday, I attempt to-day to record the goodness 
of God in sparing my life to see the commence- 
ment of another year. Three months ago, I had 
anticipations of being at this time shrouded in 
the narrow bed ' appointed for all the living.' 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 121 

Instead of this, I am now able to walk, to read, 
to enjoy the society of those dear friends who 
call upon me ; and some delightful communion 
with the Friend of sinners, who is ever present 
with me. My greatest fears are now, that, if I 
should be blessed with returning health for a 
season, I should be left to some strange depart- 
ures from my God, and grieve him again. The 
thought of banishment from the presence of God 
is dreadful, even in this world ; but — 

' Q, to be banished for my life, 

And yet forbid to die. 

To linger in eternal pain, 

Yet death forever fly. 7 

The consciousness of not honoring and glorify- 
ing God with my whole faculties of body and 
mind, shows me such depravity of debasement 
of soul, as to make his grace appear most con- 
spicuous in the salvation of one who is ' less 
than the least of all saints/ if one at all ; and 
whose awful sentence ' depart,' must have been 
already pronounced, but for the atoning sacrifice 
of our blessed Redeemer. 

" Feb, 6th. — It is pleasant sitting in my own 
room, and, beholding the open doors of the 
sanctuary, and brethren and sisters assembling 
for the worship of Jehovah ; who, in addition to 



122 MEMOIR OF 

the common acts of devotion, are this day called 
to commemorate the dying love of a Saviour. 
O, blessed privilege ! Shall I never enjoy it 
more on earth ? — My God, thou knowest. Be 
this as thou wilt. But this one mercy, O Lord, 
do not deny me ; that this seclusion from socie- 
ty, and from thy sanctuary, may be so overruled 
in thy gracious providence, as to prepare me to 
join with all true worshippers, among the belov- 
ed few I have so often met with, and the thou- 
sands who surround thy throne, giving glory to 
the Lamb forevermore. Amen.' 5 

It will be seen in the sequel that she did once 
more enjoy the sacred ordinance of the Lord's 
supper. 

" Feb. 17th. — I desire to record the goodness 
of God in enabling me to count forty-four years 
of pilgrimage on earth. How wonderful that I 
am spared, while the bodies of most of my 
youthful companions have long slumbered in 
dust. And their spirits— where are they ? O, 
whither have they fled ? They have done holding 
converse on earth. But the Lord has shown 
me, by this protracted illness, that I shall soon 
meet them. And when the assembled universe 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 123 

shall be called to stand before their Judge, in 
the deepest humility of spirit, viewing in the 
clearness of spiritual vision the blood-bought 
salvation of one dear Redeemer, we shall say, 
our eyes streaming with gratitude, 'When saw 
we thee an hungered and fed thee, or naked 
and clothed thee/ &c. ; or else we must make 
the guilty appalling plea, ' When saw we thee 
an hungered, &,c. and did not minister unto 
thee ? ' And O, the final sentence, ' These shall 
go away — ' away from what? away from God 
our Creator— away from God our Redeemer, who 
has stood with outstretched arms, pleading with 
us all our lives— away from holiness, from purity 
and peace. — O Lord, if it may be thy holy will to 
spare my life this year also, notwithstanding my 
many infirmities, may it be to give me more 
perfect assurance of my union to thee ; may I 
be prepared to seek thy glory in all things, 
among my friends, in my family, or with the 
stranger that may sojourn with me. I would 
sum up the many things I would ask of thee in 
this one request — that thy fear may be before 
my eyes continually , to keep me strictly obedient 
to thy requirements ; and that I may have the 
faith of faithful Abraham, not to shrink from 



124 MEMOIR OF 

any supposed peril or trial thou shait be pleased 
to. inflict, whether by adversity, sickness, or 
death. Then, O Lord, shall I go cheerfully 
at thy bidding, and have thy presence to deliver 
me from terror while passing that dark valley ; 
and even then have a foretaste of thy blissful 
presence. This blessing thou hast given me 
encouragement to ask ; and wilt thou give me 
strength, in thy grace, to believe thou wilt grant 
it for the Redeemer's sake." 

Thus closes her journal ; in holy aspirations 
for that perfect conformity to the will of God, 
and that perfect enjoyment of the presence of 
her Saviour, for which she was evidently so fast 
repining. 

Sometime in March, by her particular request, 
a meeting for prayer and religious conference 
was held at her house. At this meeting, (being 
unable to communicate her feelings orally to the 
brethren and sisters present,) she requested a 
written address, which she had been preparing 
with a trembling hand, to be read to them. It 
was as follows — 

" My dear brethren and sisters, — As I have 
been for a long time unable, and am still unable 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 125 

to converse bat little, I have thought it might be 
gratifying to some or all of you to know some- 
thing of the state of my mind during this pro- 
tracted illness, We are commanded to ' speak 
often one to another ; ' and I feel that every com- 
mand of God must be obeyed ; not only may be, 
or ought to be, but must be ; and that speedily. 

" The very first symptom which I considered 
alarming, brought me immediately, in thought 
and feeling, before my Judge. I felt that he 
had called for me at an unexpected hour, and that 
I was entirely unprepared for the summons. O, 
my dear friends, could you now see, as I then 
saw, the justice of God's requirements ; could 
you see his benevolence, also, in making our 
own happiness a reason of these requirements; 
could you see how the service of God has been, 
perhaps by you as well as by me, put off from 
time to time to make way for some worldly poli- 
cy, gain or pleasure ; could you see something 
of the sufferings of that dear Saviour, who volun- 
tarily gave his life for sinners, and at the same 
time remember his many warnings and invita- 
tions, and your own resolutions and failures, and 
realize the patience, and forbearance, and still 
outstretched arm of our compassionate Redeem- 
11 



126 MEMOIR OF 

er ; — how would your hearts melt within you \ 
Then would you see and feel the bitterness of 
sin — of all sin — of every departure of heart from 
the living God, in whom alone dwelleth right- 
eousness. Then would a heartless prayer seem 
enough to sink your souls into perdition. Then 
would a vile motive, which has self for its object 
instead of God's glory; and which has perhaps 
been detected in the very sanctuary of God, or in 
his more private professed worship — O, how would 
this, and all other self-deceivings fill- you with 
bitter anguish. Would you not cry, under the 
hidings of God's face, ' Wo is me, I am un^ 
done? ' I sensibly felt that I had destroyed my- 
self. But the Lord did not leave me long in this 
state of mind ; which I would mention with 
filial gratitude and adoring praise. I heard his 
gentle voice saying unto me ' In me is thy helpJ 
I felt conscious that I believed it ; and that his 
own mercy had pointed out the way, and for his 
own sake. He had made this provision for the 
vilest of sinners ; which it is most cruel mockery 
in them, and rebellion of heart, instead of humil- 
ity for sin — not to accept. Since that time I 
have felt as though I knew something, by the 
goodness of God, of the blessedness of pardoned 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 127 

gin ; and that a God of never-ending love, faith- 
fulness and truth, a God hating sin, yet full of 
forbearance and pity, will not reproach me for 

I saying in humble confidence, * / am thine, and 
thou art mine.' O, my dear friends, look and 

i see what God has clone for a guilty world. Look 
at the promises of the gospel. O, look at the 
prints of the nails ; then press into his arms, and 

j, cry " My Lord and my God. 1 " 

Near the same time she wrote to her son at 
D. College ; an extract from the letter follows. 

" Last Saturday I saw Dr. Mussey. 



I presume you are so prepared, I need use no 
precaution in telling you, that he thinks there is 
an ulcerated cavity in the left lobe of my lungs; 
also an adhesion of the lungs to the chest, which 
prevents my breath from being drawn from be- 
low that adhesion. After examining my side, 
•he laid his hand upon the very spot that has 
always troubled me, and pronounced it to be 
there. * * * 

" O, my dear Albert, can we unreservedly 
trust ourselves in the hands of a righteous and 
gracious God? Can we e cease from man, whose 
breath is in his nostrils,' and who cannot succor 



128 MEMOIR OF 

us in the day of our calamity ; and cordially 
accept of that gracious guidance and protection 
which our heavenly Father and compassionate 
Redeemer has offered for our support, while 
passing through these parting scenes of life? 
Then shall we meet them with composure ; for 
the Rock of ages will be our defence and our 
portion forever. Do not let your mind be filled 
with sore forebodings, and fruitless anxieties 
about me. I have every thing I need from 
earthly friends ; and a kind Saviour who leads 
me daily, and will tenderly lead me all my jour- 
ney through ; in whose kind hands I leave you, 
my dear, and all I hold dear on earth. If there 
is any material alteration in my health, we shall 
let you know. 

" Your affectionate mother, 

" Emily Egerton." 

I now subjoin an extract from her last effort 
at writing. It was made in the latter part of 
March, in a letter directed to a Christian sister 
then in Massachusetts, who was afterwards pres- 
ent with her, till the closing scene. 

" My dear A -, — Through the kindness of 

your friends I hear from you once in a while, 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 129 

The last information rejoiced us greatly. We 
had been apprehensive of a decline. Do, my 
dear sister, be careful of your health, that you 
may not by your imprudence, do less good in the 
world than your Creator has originally given you 
ability to accomplish. Many salutary lessons 
may be learned from sickness ; yet this does not 
lessen our obligations to use means to preserve 
our health, that we may not be obliged to offer 
to the Lord the ' maimed, the halt, and the 
blind.' I feel myself not entirely innocent with 
regard to the loss of this blessing ; I have surely 
been innocent in design, but not in practice. 
* * * * About the first of this month I 
began to have regular chills every day, followed 
by fever. Since that time, my appetite has been 
poor, cough has increased, and strength failed. 

— Thus you see, my dear Ann, my life 

hangs on a mere spider's iveb, trembling with 
every breath, anxiously waiting the heavenly 
summons. I have, for the greater part of my 
sickness, enjoyed a good degree of tranquillity of 
mind. O, am I deceived when I say that I do 
trust my all in the hands of my compassionate 
Redeemer? I think I can cast myself upon him 
with all my sin ; but never could, till I saw that 
11* 



130 MEMOIR OF 

I must come helpless and defiled as I am ; and 
be willing and believe, that Christ will take me 
from the dunghill, and take away all my pollu- 
tion, and accept me for his own dear sake, 
I want to write more ; but feel myself too much 
fatigued. — Give my regards to your parents and 
friends. — The Lord is kind, and will do right, 
whether our next meeting be in this world or 
the next. 

" Most cordially your grateful 

" Emily Egerton." 

Having written this, she laid aside her pen — 
to resume it no more forever. Meanwhile the 
most approved remedies, prescribed by the most 
skilful physicians, and administered by the most 
tender and assiduous of nurses, were no longer 
productive of any beneficial effect ; and the 
slender filament on which her life hung, — to use 
her own figure, was frequently well nigh broken. 
Seasons of excruciating pain were occasionally 
shaking the foundations of her clay tenement, 
and the time of her departure seemed to be at 
hand. 

It was during one of these seasons that she 
could not help remarking on the kindness of her 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 131 

heavenly Father, " in permitting all her children 
to come home to see her die ; " — alluding to the 
unexpected arrival of her son from college, and 
of a young lady from a distance, to whom she 
had formerly acted the part of a mother. She 
had not, however, fully closed her testimony for 
the truth as it is in Jesus ; for which purpose 
her life was yet to be prolonged a few weeks. 
During this interval she was enabled to read a 
little, give important instructions to her children, 
and join in the prayers and conversation of her 
friends, sometimes with an audible and even a 
firm voice. Indeed the sudden renewal of her 
strength was sometimes remarkable. I recollect 
once in particular, when she had scarcely been 
able for some time to endure the exertion of a 
whisper, after joining in a prayer in which she 
appeared to be much interested, she was enabled 
to converse on heavenly things for considerable 
time, in a voice so strong, that she could be 
heard and understood in an adjoining room. 

I shall attempt to give a few of her occasional 
remarks during the latter part of her confine- 
ment, but regret that they must be very much 
circumscribed by the prescribed limits of this 
little work, and by the remote residence of the 



132 MEMOIR OF 

Christian sister before alluded to ;— who has 
probably treasured more of these remarks than 
any other person. 

During the month of May, when a casual 
allusion was made in her room on the pleasant 
atmosphere and beautiful and blushing scenery 
without, she observed, " I am almost afraid to 
look upon the lovely face of the natural world, 
lest I should see some object that would call me 
back to earth. But, if I should be so happy, 
through rich grace, as to reach yonder blessed 
world — 

'There everlasting- spring abides, 
And never wiuYring flowers/ 

and there will be no more danger of gazing on 
the most perfect created beauty ; for it will have 
no power to draw my affections from the uncre- 
ated source of all beauty and perfection. — Yet," 
said she, musing, " yet 

' Death, like a narrow sea, divides 
This heavenly land from ours. 7 " 

Although she had been extremely self-diffident 
during the years of health and activity ; yet, as 
her "outward man" was perishing, her "in- 
ward man was renewed day by day." — " Though 
the pains of death " she said, "may have in 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 133 

them something terrifying, yet I have nothing to 
fear after death — when " cometh the judgment; " 
for " I know thai my Redeemer liveth" — Yet so 
mercifully did he deal with her, that even from 
the pains of djeath, she seemed to be in a measure 
saved; as it will probably appear by the sequel 
that her bodily suffering was by no means so 
great then, as it had been often before. During 
one of these excruciating turns, she remarked 
with much resignation and affiance in her tone 
and countenance, " I think I have committed to 
God that which I would not take back." She 
was still quite suspicious of herself; and had a 
very low view of those Christian attainments 
and actions which were so decisive of her disci- 
pleship in the view of others. Emphatically was 
the name of her divine Master " written in her 
forehead" a place the most conspicuous to be- 
holders, but the least so to herself. 

" June 5. — Last evening ," writes a partic- 
ular friend in his journal, " I called on our dear 
Mrs. Egerton. The first expression of her feeble 
voice was s I stay yet y for some reason, I know 
not what.' Being asked how life appeared to 
her on the retrospect — ' Short, 5 she replied, 
* very short ; a few days and full of vanity.' 



134 MEMOIR OF 

" ' Does the atonement still appear precious ? ? 

" ' 9 yes. I have no other hope. If I am 
ever so happy as to reach those blessed man- 
sions — the lowest place will be too good for me. 
Through rich grace alone can I ever be saved.' 

" ' Do you love the character of God, as far as 
you understand it?' i O,yes! i she exclaim- 
ed with affectionate solemnity. ' I cannot be 
deceived/ continued she, 'as to the correctness 
of my faith and Christian principles in general. 
But I have been so deficient in an ardent partic- 
ular attachment to my blessed Saviour, that I 
have been unfaithful, inactive — done next to 
nothing for his cause. I look around on my 
fellow creatures, professors of his name, and see 
them also dead like myself.' 

" She then exclaimed with an emphatic pathos 
and sublimity of thought and manner which I 
cannot soon forget — 

" * Oh t it seems as if he icould sit upon Ms 
throne of glory , and mourn over the coldness and 
inactivity of his prof ess ed followers ! ' 

" About three weeks before her departure, she 
said * I am afraid I have got into a stupid frame, 
and am enjoying a false peace. I have thought 
I had done and said every thing which I knew 



MRS. EMILY EGERTGN. 135 

of, with regard to my own preparation and the 
good of those around me; and yet I am here— 
yet his chariot wheels delay. I fear there is 
still some great work remaining undone. O, 
pray that I may be shown what it is, before I go 
lience to be here no more.' " 

Not far from this time, her strong desire to 
""commemorate once more on earth the dying 
love of her Saviour, " (See Journal, Feb. 6, 1828 ,) 
Slaving been communicated to her worthy pastor, 
lie called on her for that purpose, accompanied 
by a few of the Christian brethren. An ordi- 
nance so interesting under any circumstances, 
could not but be rendered still more so by the 
peculiarity of the present. 

She, for whose sake especially it was adminis- 
tered, was reclining in an arm-chair placed near 
her bed, and directly opposite to the open door 
of her nurse-room ; — clad in a simple robe of 
white. Her countenance, emaciated by disease, 
was scarcely less white ; but on it were deeply 
depicted the serenity of resignation, the joy of 
hope, and the humble gratitude of him who is 
conscious he can be saved from merited destruc- 
tion only by the death of his best friend. Close 



136 MEMOIR OF 

beside her sat a select few of the sisters; while 
the other communicants occupied the adjacent 
room. Throughout the little assembly there 
reigned the silence of the most intense interest, 
and the solemnity of. those eternal scenes, 
which every thing present seemed to force irre- 
sistibly on the mind. 

Her habiliments were not so white as the spot- 
less robe of righteousness in which she was 
doubtless soon to be arrayed ; for her death-like 
countenance plainly told that she would " drink 
no more of the fruit of the vine, till she should 
drink it new with her Saviour in the kingdom o£ 
his Father." And, when the man of God said 
"Take — eat, in remembrance of me," it seemed 
to be the voice of Jesus himself, who had already 
opened the door of heaven, and stood waiting to 
"Dry the mourners tears, and take the exile 
home." 

The imagination could follow her then no 
further; but, forced lo take leave thus at the 
very gate of heaven, her condition seemed 
almost to be envied, from the prospect that her 
warfare was so nearly accomplished ; and so 
soon, with her, "Death " would be " swallowed 
up in victory." 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 137 

At the close of the affecting scene, her feeble 
voice was heard commingling with the others in 
the following appropriate song of Zion, of her 
own selecting. — 

u t The promise of my Father's love 
Shall stand forever good ; — 
He said, and gave his soul to death, 
And seal 7 d the grace with blood. 

To this dear covenant of thy word 

I set my worthless name 5 
I seal the engagement to my Lord, 

And make my humble claim. 

Thy light, and strength, and pardoning grace, 

And glory, shall be mine : 
My life and soul, my heart and flesh, 

And all my powers — are thine. 

I call that legacy my own, 

Which Jesus did bequeath — 
; Twaspurchas 7 d with a dying groan, 

And ratified in death. 

Sweet is the memory of His name 

Who blessed us in his will, 
And, to his testament of love, 

Made his own life the seal." 

On Sabbath, the last day of June, hearing that 
she was not quite so comfortable, I called upon 
her towards evening. The same Christian 
sister, to whom her last letter was addressed, 
had been sitting by her during the afternoon, 
and been favored with much of her edifying dis- 
course. After conversation, singing a hymn, 
and prayer, all of which exercises she appeared 
12 



138 MEMOIR OF 

to enjoy in an uncommon degree, — perceiving 
her lo be fatigued, yet observing no visible 
change in her appearance, I proposed leaving 
her for the night, and asked, if she had any pre- 
vious request to make. She reached to me the 
little New Testament, which had so long been 
her friend and constant companion. 

" If," said she, " you should be in town at 
the time of my dissolution, I wish you would 
request Mr. E****** to preach my funeral ser- 
mon from that passage" pointing to Rev. xv. 4. 
" Who shall not fear thee, O Lord, and glorify 
thy name; for thou only art holy ; for all nations 
shall come and worship before thee; for thy 
judgments are made manifest" x< Sister A., 57 
she continued, " will explain my wishes further 
to you." She also selected two of the hymns 
she wished to be sung on the occasion — the 
49th EL, B. 1, of Worcester's Watts, commencing 
thus — 

a Christ has done more than Moses did.' 7 

And the 222d select hymn of Worcester, com- 
mencing with — 

" While on the verge of life I stand." 

We then took leave, expecting to see her 
again in the morning. Pensively walking from 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 139 

the sick room together, A. told me that, in the 
course of the afternoon, Mrs. E. had explained 
to her the particular use she wished to have 
made of the proposed text, at her funeral. She 
might thus, after she was " dead, yet speak," 
for the cause of him she loved, and the salva- 
tion of immortal souls. The sick disciple 
washed to have peculiar stress laid on the words, 
" Who shall not fear thee, O Lord, for thou only 
art holy/ 5 as a warning against the delusive 
hope, that there will be no distinction in the 
eternal world, between him that feareth and 
serveth God, and him that feareth him not." 

" A cause of fear," she said, " will be imme- 
diately before their eyes. My coffin will speak 
to them of the king of terrors — of God's holy 
hatred of sin ; — ' by one man sin entered into 
the world, and death by sin.' Yes, he hates 
sin, so that his 'judgments' are daily ' made 
manifest;' and this one 'has passed upon all 
men.' His own children, that he loves, must 
die ; and even his own dear son must leave his 
bosom and die, by reason of sin. Who, then, 
shall not fear God ; and be so affected by a 
view of such dispensations as to repent and 
believe on Christ, and thus 'glorify the name 8 



140 MEMOIR OF 

of his Maker ; and become the subject of that 
holiness without which no man shal! see the 
Lord. For, if he spared not his own sinless 
Son, how can he spare him that still cleaves to his 
sin, and continues to reject him who was made 
sin for us? " But I cannot here detail all her 
wishes with regard to the sermon. They were 
committed to writing at full length, to be pre- 
sented to our pastor. 

Alas ! how little did we expect they would be 
needed so soon. The very next morning I was 
awakened by the sorrowful intelligence, that 
" dear sister Egerton has gone ! " We had 
particularly requested the family to give season- 
able notice of any alarming change of symptoms, 
whenever it might occur ; wishing very much to 
be present when her spirit should take its flight. 
But death had been too sudden for our plans. 
It seems that " at midnight the cry was made, 
behold the Bridegroom cometh," — for at this 
solemn hour, she was seized with a violent 
hemorrhage, and could just articulate to her 
children, who were hastily summoned, " I am 
bleeding to death." In a few moments the 
physician was present. But it was too late. 
The immortal part had fled ; and its deserted 
tenement needed medical aid no more. 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 141 

How often had the heart which had now 

ceased to palpitate, and the voice which was to 

sound no more forever, conspired in feeling and 

singing — 

" Thine earthly Sabbaths, Lord, we love; 
But there 7 s a nobler rest above j — 

And how consolatory the reflection, that now, 
precisely as she had finished the one, she had 
doubtless entered on the full and everlasting 
enjoyment of the other. 

On the Tuesday following, after an appro- 
priate discourse on the subject and the plan 
of her own suggesting, her mortal remains were 
laid in the narrow bed ; to sleep " till the 
heavens be no more," — when "the trumpet shall 
sound, and she shall be raised, and that mortal 
shall put on immortality, and be fashioned like 
unto Christ's glorious body, and be ever with 
the Lord." 

These were doubtless the reflections of more 
than one of that uncommonly large concourse 
of mourning friends who witnessed the solemn 
scenes ; and who on re-entering the now lonely 
mansion, could not forbear giving expression to 
their feelings, by singing the following lines of 
Watts, in those affecting tones of Handel's 
" Dead march in Saul." 
12* 



142 MEMOIR OF MRS. EGERTON. 

u Unveil thy bosom, faithful tomb ; 
Take this new treasure to thy trust ; 
And give these sacred relics room 
To slumber in the silent dust. 
Nor pain, nor grief, nor anxious fear 
Invade thy bounds. No mortal woes 
Can reach the peaceful sleeper here, 
While angels watch the soft repose. 
So Jesus slept ; — God's dying Son 
Passed through the grave and blessed the bed. 
Rest here, blest saint, till from his throne 
The morning break, and pierce the shade. 
Break from his throne, illustrious morn 3 
Attend, O earth, the solemn word; 
Restore thy trust, — a glorious form, — 
Call'd to ascend and meet the Lord." 



CHAPTER VI. 

Brief view of her character. 

Having thus committed all that was mortal of 
Emily Egerton, to the tomb, and her immortal 
spirit to God who gave it ; let us now pause, and 
briefly contemplate some of those characteristic 
excellencies, which still live on earth. 

If it is proper, however, to cast yet a linger- 
ing look at that in which some of these charac- 
teristics were once embodied ; I would just 
remark as to her person, that she was small in 
stature ; of a rather delicate countenance, and 
regular features ; dark hair, and dark blue eyes ; 
with a pleasant but serious countenance, habitu- 
ally expressive of cheerful serenity. 

Among her traits of character, that which 
will be first mentioned, as holding a prominent 
place, is 

Decision. As illustrative of this, the reader 



144 BIEMOIR OF 

may be referred to the incident with regard to 
the evening party, already related in Chap. II. ; 
—to the discussion of her religious views with 
her husband, in Chap. III. ; — and to her recom- 
mencing of study during her widowhood, to 
qualify herself for instructing. I will here add 
only one more instance of the many which 
might be adduced. As soon as her eldest son 
had become hopefully pious, she had a strong 
desire that he might obtain a liberal education, 
and become prepared to preach the everlasting 
gospel. But, supposing her want of funds 
would render this impracticable, she had nearly 
relinquished the idea, when a literary friend, 
relating his own experience on the subject, she 
said in her heart — " Albert can get an educa- 
tion ; — and immediately set about removing the 
remaining obstacles, — procured his release from 
one excellent home, found him another, where 
he could receive instruction at a classical acad- 
emy, and his board for laboring a part of each 
day ; and on her death-bed, had the satisfaction 
of seeing him nearly through a course of study 
in one of the best New England colleges. 

This fixedness of purpose, however, was in 
her case not so much the result of constitutional 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. ]45 

temperament, as of the divine principle of faith. 
Hence it manifested itself, especially in her re- 
ligious concerns. The grand question with her 
was, — " Lord, what wilt thou have me to do ?" 
And whatever the answer might be, the grand 
practical maxim of her life was, as in the lan- 
guage of her address — "Every command of God 
must be obeyed; not only may be, and ought to 
be, but must be, and that speedily." Whatever 
means, therefore, God had evidently appointed 
for securing her own everlasting happiness and 
that of others, these means were perseveringly 
resorted to. Frequently has she been known to 
break over the obstacles presented by a large 
number of family boarders, or of a large school, to 
attend a distant religious meeting ; or to receive 
one into her house ; or to solicit contributions 
for the benevolent operations of the age. 
Wherever she was expected to be present — 
whether at the female prayer-meeting, the con- 
ference, the charitable society, the Sabbath 
school, the lecture, or the church-— whoever else 
might be absent, there she was sure to be found 
at the time appointed, unless prevented by sick- 
ness. The calls of friendship, or domestic 
cares, some of which too often prevent the 



146 MEMOIR OF 

attendance of female professors, amounted to no 
sufficient excuse, either in her views or her 
practice, for neglecting any of those duties which 
are paramount to all others.* 

The same remark is also applicable to her 
exercises for personal improvement, religious 
and intellectual. She had beea at some pains 
to procure a set of Scott's Family Bible, as a 
help to a. correct understanding of divine truth. 
Nor was she to be prevented by secular avoca- 
tions from perusing it daily and prayerfully in 
retirement ; nor from a careful perusal of the 
valuable religious periodicals, in addition to her 
more common reading ; nor from consulting her 
spiritual and intellectual improvement, along with 
the happiness of others, by the habitual use of the 
pen. Her journal, epistolary writing, essays, 
and poetic effusions now before me, furnish abun- 
dant evidence of her persevering industry in 
this exercise, even to the last. Notwithstanding 
her dependent situation, and the pressure of her 
engagements, volumes might be filled with what 
she wrote during a few of the latter years of her 
life. 



* She was in the constant habit of conducting social worship 
with her own family, as well as with her school, in the absence 
of a leader of the other sex, 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 147 

Mrs. Egerton's decision of character, however, 
consisted not at all in that positiveness of asser- 
tion, and precipitancy of action, which some 
suppose the term to imply. For I have yet to 
mention another no less prominent trait; w 7 ith 
which the former was united, and by which it 
was peculiarly modified. I refer to that mild 
and retiring 

Modesty, which ever constitutes one of the 
brightest gems in the diadem of female excel- 
lence. She was emphatically, a woman — in the 
distinguishing and exalted sense of the term. 
Her very countenance would carry a conviction 
of this to the eye of the beholder; and the ear 
that heard her would be sensible that the " law 
of kindness was in her tongue;" and the soul 
of every intimate friend would feel that it was 
deeply engraven on her heart. Hence that 
serenity of mien, so uniformly conspicuous in 
her through all the changing scenes of life, and 
even in its closing scene, that a stranger might 
be led to query whether it might not arise in 
some degree, from a stoical temperament. But 
a more close observer could not fail to discern, 
that, if her affections were under an unusual 
degree of self-restraint, they were also unusu- 



148 MEMOIR OF 

ally ardent ; that, if, like Joseph of old, she 
could refrain herself in the presence of her 
brethren ; yet, like him also, she was compelled 
not unfrequently to " turn away her face and 
weep." During the unusually trying scenes 
through which she was called to pass, those who 
had opportunity to notice her external appear- 
ance, observed habitually an expression of that 
same mild serenity, which characterized her 
countenance at other times. And yet enough 
extracts from her writings have been exhibited, 
to convince the reader that her grief must have 
been of no ordinary degree of poignancy. An- 
other evidence of this affectionate mildness is to 
be found in the universal attachment of children, 
and her consequent success in managing them, 
in the nursery and the school-room. Every 
little one that knew " Aunt Egerton," loved her. 
It is a maxim of common observation, that "like 
begets like." If they loved her, therefore, it 
was because she first loved them ; she exhibited 
towards them that same gentleness of conduct 
and tenderness of affection, from which female 
excellencies, adults any more than children, 
cannot withhold the homage of their affection- 
ate respect. This is evident from the large con- 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 149 

course who followed her remains to the grave, 
many of them besides the relatives, in the ex- 
ternal habiliments of grief. 

In fine, it was a sentiment expressed by one 
of her acquaintances, of more than ordinary 
discernment of character, and responded to by 
them ali, that he had never known the individ- 
ual who more admirably united in his own 
character gentleness and firmness, than 
Mrs. E. Egerton. 

To these characteristics was joined a large 
share of what is usually termed, " good coiw- 
mon sense," or a sense of propriety manifested 
in discreetly adapting her conduct to her circum- 
stances. 

I cannot better illustrate my views of this 
trait, than by referring again to the extract of a 
letter to Miss A. N., which is found in Chap. V., 
under the date of April, 1827, — commencing 
especially with the sentence — " It is impossible 
for me to set any bounds in my own mind with 
regard to outward things, or personal appear- 
ance," &,c. The general views contained in 
this extract, appear to have been habitually 
acted out in her life. To be " blameless and 
harmless," " to walk circumspectly," and not 
13 



150 MEMOIR OF 

let her " good be evil spoken of;'"' these ap- 
peared in her view, far more desirable attain- 
ments, than much of that imposing zeal, which 
might lead its possessor, by a rash expression 
or unguarded action, to undo in a moment the 
well-meant labor of years. Hence, few were 
the occasions in which any one could censure 
her conduct, or even misconstrue her motives. 

As a professor of the Christian religion, Mrs. 
Egerton had drank deeply into its characteristic 
spirit of that charity which " seeketh not her 
own;' 5 or good will to man growing out of love 
to God. 

As in the language of one of her private 
resolutions, she appeared habitually to " strive 
to make every one happy she had anything to do 
with, from a sense of what she owed to God" 

Her benevolent exertions for the welfare of 
the rising generation, have been already noticed. 
In addition to her more private efforts, she had 
instructed in a day school, as well as Sabbath 
school for a number of the last years of her life; 
and indeed she held the office of Sabbath school 
teacher when she was called to leave the world. 

Nor were her philanthropic desires and exer- 
tions confined to those about her. Like those 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 151 

of the great Missionary to the Gentiles, they 
extended also to " those who had never seen 
her face in the flesh." She had early imbibed 
an ardent desire for the salvation of the heathen, 
and a strong interest for the cause of missions 
among them. The monthly concert of prayer 
furnished her a precious opportunity of bestow- 
ing her alms with her prayers on this grand 
object; an opportunity which no common avoca- 
tion could prevent her carefully improving. 
Nor were these monthly contributions, in her 
view, sufficient. She gave, besides, a liberal 
offering from year to year, as the Lord had pros- 
pered her ; and made a bequest of " what she 
could" at her death, at which time she also 
held the office of collector for the " ladies' asso- 
ciation " in Randolph, auxiliary to the Ameri- 
can Board. 

The following incident may serve to illustrate 
her disposition on this subject :- — " Feathers 
show which way the wind blows." Having 
once occasion to go to a missionary charity-box, 
which stood in an unlocked secretary, I was 
surprised to find ten silver dollars piled upon its 
cover ; much like the loaves of consecrated 
bread upon the Levitical table. Whence they 



152 MEMOIR OF 

came, I could not conjecture ; nor was it ascer^. 
tained, till some time afterwards, that it was a 
thank-offering of this poor widow to the Lord, 
who had put it into the heart of an old debtor of 
her husband's to pay her this sum which she 
had never expected to receive. 

Her benevolence also manifested itself in her 
spirit of liberality towards Christians of different 
denominations. " Charity thinketh no evil."" 
Whenever she met with a disciple of her own 
Master, by whatever name distinguished, she 
gave to such an one the same cordial reception 
and fraternal fellowship as to one of her own 
communion. 

If I proceed to state, in the language of Scrip- 
ture, that " charity vaunteth not itself, and is 
not puffed up," — I shall but state another pro-, 
minent trait in Mrs. Egerton's Christian charac- 
ter — 

Humility. Although this is closely allied to 
that native modesty already mentioned, it is not 
precisely the same. It is one thing instinctively 
to shrink from the imagined superiority of one's 
fellow creatures ; and another thing to prostrate 
one's self before the infinite majesty and purity 
of his Creator. The subject of these memoir's- 
evidently did both. 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 153 

li Wo is me/ 5 exclaimed the Prophet, "for I 
am undone, for mine eyes have seen the King, 
the Lord of hosts. 55 " It is not enough that I 
have been gratified ; — God must be also glori- 
fied" This appeared to be the language of 
more than her pen or her tongue. A frequent 
view of the glorious perfections of God, and of 
his most righteous claims upon her person and 
services ; and a corresponding sense of her 
deficiency with regard to constantly aiming at 
his glory in all that she did, led her to reckon 
herself as " less than the least of all saints, 
if one at all" Hence those numerous expres- 
sions of self-loathing, and those complaints of 
her vileness of motive and feeling, so frequent 
and grievous, that a stranger to experimental 
religion would be liable to misapprehend her 
character from her writings. 

Indeed if there were any defect in the charac- 
ter of her religious experience, especially the 
earlier part of it, this defect consisted in viewing 
her spiritual disease more intensely than she 
did the gracious remedy provided. Thus, dur- 
ing much of her religious course, was she sub- 
ject to a legal bondage ; until enabled at last 
to say with one of the apostles, " This a faith- 
13* 



154 MEMOIR OF 

ful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, — thai 
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners 
of ivhom 1 am chief." Then, with admiring 
Thomas, could she exclaim — " my Lord, and my 
God!" in whom, notwithstanding her extreme 
vileness in her own sight, though now she saw 
him not, " yet believing, she could still rejoice 
with joy unspeakable and full of glory." 

I have said, " if there were any defect, 5 ' not 
because I consider her to have been perfect, or 
am at all attempting to exhibit an eulogy instead 
of her true character. But in this imperfect 
state, where one, at best, sees spiritual things 
but " through a glass darkly," it is difficult to 
decide correctly concerning another's religious 
views and springs of action. She probably 
understands her religious character herself far 
better now, than she did when describing her 
exercises in her diary. And, were it possible 
to suppose she could leave the angelic employ- 
ments of the last three years, and revisit the 
scenes and friends of her earthly existence, 
might she not be still more unwilling than 
formerly to have anything said of her Christian 
attainments? Would not this record of her 
humility, as a characteristic trait of her religion, 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 155 

occasion her peculiar pain ? But she is not any 
more an inhabitant of earth. Would that the 
professed disciples of Jesus who are, may all 
furnish good grounds for conjecturing that they 
have made as great attainments in this primary 
Christian grace. 

But, with regard to those traits of her Chris- 
tian character which depend on evidence more 
palpable, we can have something more than 
conjecture. Of these, I shall yet mention but 
one, — 

Conscientiousness — or a strict and constant 
regard to the voice of duty. 

Mention has already been made of her untir- 
ing perseverance in the use of the means of 
grace. Yet even the characteristic decision 
there spoken of, was itself, in her case, probably 
owing not more to anything original in her in- 
tellectual constitution, than to the same divinely 
wrought principle of conscientious faithfulness 
in the discharge of duty. 

Speaking once of a brother and sister of her 
acquaintance — " L***," said she, " appears to 
be conscientious; — there is hope in her case. 
She recently inquired of me whether it would 
be right for her to take passage in a stage, that 



J 56 MEMOIR OF 

would not arrive at her father's house till about 
sunrise, Sabbath morning. But her brother 
g#**#*^ I fear, is a ruined youth. He appears 
to have no conscience toward GodP These 
expressions show how deeply the importance of 
this subject was impressed upon her principles 
of action. Enough has been exhibited of her 
w T ritings, to show that her practice corresponded 
with her principles. To be convinced of this, 
one need only revert to a single extract from her 
diary, and recollect what pungent feelings of 
grief and remorse were occasioned by a single 
instance of neglect in the duty of praying with 
her scholars. Those, however, who understood 
her every-day management of her school, and 
her family, are best acquainted with this trait in 
her character. 

There is, therefore, one view yet to be taken, 
— exhibiting not so much any distinct trait as a 
combination of the whole. I refer to her char- 
acter as 

A Christian Mother. She seems all along 
to have been listening to a voice from heaven 
saying unto her, " Take this child, and nurse it 
for me ; " and to have habitually felt, that, as 
she was actually training her children for an 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 157 

immortal existence, she ought to train them for 
Him who made them immortal — for usefulness 
on earth, and happiness in heaven. 

Hence all her plans were laid with a principal 
reference to these grand results. In their 
education, therefore, she was careful to regard 
their whole nature ; corporeal and moral, as well 
as intellectual. When, by the death of their 
father, it became necessary to place them in 
other hands, her great solicitude was to find 
them homes, where they would be likely to 
learn bodily and mental industry ; correct moral 
habits ; and above all, the love and fear of their 
Creator and Redeemer. Nor did she at all re- 
lax in her faithful endeavors for their welfare, 
after such homes, as she supposed, had been 
obtained. " It may be my children have cursed 
God, or blessed themselves, in their heart. It 
may be that they have grown remiss in that 
which is good, or have been drawn aside to that 
which is evil." None but He that knows all 
things could know the extent and constancy of 
her parental solicitude, or the many fervent 
prayers offered for them in secret. But some 
of the external actions of these yearnings of 
soul could be noticed by those conversant with 



158 MEMOIR OF 

the many social prayers offered, and verbal and 
epistolary warnings, and encouragements, and 
suggestions given them, and to others for them, 
even till her " prayers and tears " were at least 
exchanged for hallelujahs. Many times, while 
on a visit at their homes, has she been known 
to take them into a separate apartment to con- 
verse and pray with them 5 and when circum- 
stances would not permit this, or when she 
learnt, in her absence, the exposure of any one 
of them- to any peculiar temptation, or sin, she 
would not fail to warn him of it by a faithful 
and affectionate letter. Eternity alone will show 
how vast are their obligations, as well as those 
of their guardians, for these offices of kind and 
timely assistance. If others were attempting to 
assist in bearing her children along through this 
rugged maze, her faithful spirit would prompt 
hex at least to assist in staying up their benefac- 
tor's hands. 

Her parental management was deeply marked 
with her characteristic mildness and decision. 
Faithfulness was so mingled with her tenderness, 
and discretion with her sympathy, that the early 
confidence instinctively reposed in her by her 
children, was strengthened in proportion as 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 159 

their unfolding judgment convinced them more 
and more that this confidence was well placed. 
She was their counsellor, as well as their confi- 
dant. Her pleasure was their law and their 
delight, " they knew not why, and cared not 
wherefore. 5 ' There are parents, who, so far 
from the necessity of laying a formal injunction 
or prohibition on their children, seem to a 
by-stander scarcely to have occasion to admin- 
ister formal advice. The living soul of the 
parental excellencies appears to be so transfused 
into them, that they may be said to breathe the 
same spirit, and almost to act the same actions 
habitually. Towards this enviable perfection 
Mrs. Egerton had made no inconsiderable 
advances. 

In promoting their intellectual improvement 
she also took unwearied pains, especially while 
they were yet with her, " Read and you ivill 
know, my child," said the mother of Sir W. 
Jones. So, emphatically, said the practice o 
her of whom I speak. She accustomed her 
children, from their earliest years, to read much 
aloud in her presence. And her peculiar way 
of familiar explanation and mental interrogation, 
excited in them a juvenile interest and inquisi- 



160 MEMOIR OF 

tiveness which would not only secure a know^ 
ledge and retention of what was read, but 
would naturally lay a much broader founda- 
tion for future improvement. Children thus 
instructed have not the necessity, as is otherwise 
too often the case, of commencing the very 
alphabet of thinking, as well as laying in the 
materials of thought, after they are old enough 
to learn their value by the little experience of 
their want. This habit of investigating and 
close thinking, she endeavored to promote while 
she was yet with them, not merely an inhabitant 
of the same house but of the same world. On 
inquiring concerning the comparative advanta- 
ges of two colleges, she was told that one of 
them was better adapted to give the student a 
polished exterior, and the other to give him a 
habit of studious retirement — " This," said she, 
"is the institution for my son ; I do not wish him 
to mingle much with the world, till his mental 
foundation is laid so deep and large as not to be 
blown about by the breath of every popular sen- 
timent" — or words to this effect. 

Evidences of her parental faithfulness have 
been already exhibited from her writings. To 
these, I shall now add a few more promiscuous 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 161 

extracts more or less illustrative of some of the 
above remarks. 

" Friday morning, July 1st, 1824. 

" Albert, my child,- — I heartily approve of 
your asking my advice concerning the celebra- 
tion" — [of the day of our National Indepen- 
dence.] " Yet I tremble to answer you, because 
of my limited views of such things. I do not 
know the necessity of them ; nor whether any 
benefit is to be derived from them. I suppose 
reverence for our forefathers who took their 
lives in their hands to obtain their freedom ; 
love t6our country, laws, institutions, &c, — are 
generally urged as motives for noticing this day 
in the form of a celebration. It is true, men 
have been instrumental in procuring these great 
blessings, for which we are so distinguished. 
Yet, what could men have done, had it not been 
for the l right hand of the Lord ? '■ I fear it 
must be provoking to his holiness to be forgot- 
ten in the scenes of that day, while all our 
praises are lavished upon men and their mea- 
sures. 

"Is this thing approved of by JMr. N.? Do 
the religious part of your literary society— if 
14 



162 MEMOIR 01 

there are such belonging to it — feel it their duty 
to join — or is it to be carried on by those who 
appear to be entirely carnal in their views and 
feelings ? If this is the case, and those who 
know better than I do, should contrast the sup- 
posed advantages and necessity of your attending 
(arising from your relation to the society) with 
the snares and temptations presented to the 
mind on such occasions — if these, and especially 
Mr. N. who knows something of your disposition 
and propensities, should then advise you not to 
attend, or not to dine with the rest ; I would 
have you unhesitatingly, with frankness and 
decision, feel, if not say — e I am a companion of 
all them that fear Thee, and keep thy precepts/ 
And further pray — ' Let my heart be sound in 
thy statutes, that I be not ashamed.' Do not 
have a hankering for that which is not best for 
you. If it is .thought best for you to attend by 
spiritually minded people, and your own con- 
science, — who, I hope will always be your coun- 
sellors, — I would not have you absent yourself 
from the table, from pecuniary considerations. 
If you can refuse without any degradation of 
character, I think a dollar thrown into the 
treasury to procure liberty for the poor Africans 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 163 

would be much better spent. Toasts after din- 
ner seem to me like l eating and drinking — then 
rising up to play/ I am not certain that there 
may not be a justifiable motive for the practice, 
and that more knowledge on the subject would 
not give me different views. Can you abstract 
your mind from the intended display of next 
Tuesday, and fix it upon the dying love of Christ 
which is to be brought to view next Sab- 
bath ? Do not sell your birthright for a mess of 
pottage. Do not betray your Master by feasting 
your imagination with tinsel. I know circum- 
stances must be considered ; but let it be in 
conjunction with — l Seek first the kingdom of 
God.'' By taking things the other end foremost, 
as Mr. Lyman says, you cannot secure your 
reputation — much less your pleasurable reflec- 
tions hereafter. 

" I trust you will weigh the matter thoroughly, 
especially considering what will be most likely 
to secure God's blessing. Then take your 
choice, whether to spend your dollar at the din- 
ner table, or throw it into the charity box, for 
the purpose before mentioned. If it should 
appear duty to choose the latter, state your 
motive fairly to the society, without a shrinking 



164 MEMOIR OF 

fear of ridicule. # * * # * I do not know 
whether Martha will have an inclination to 
attend at the meeting-house; — if she should 
have, I hope Mrs. N. will decide as to the pro- 
priety of it. 

" Your affectionate mother, " E. E." 

To the same. 

Randolph, W. Village. 

" Albert, — You will feel as much disappointed 
on opening this, as you thought I should be on 
receiving a line from you. 

" I feel almost continual anxiety for A* # , 
lest he should grow up in ignorance of himself, 
or of his duty towards God or man. I hope the 
Lord will be better to me than my fears ; yet I 
know he is in imminent danger ; [referring, 
probably, to his being deprived of the oppor- 
tunity of a regular attendance on public worship ;] 
and I want to watch every opportunity that 
may be improved for his benefit. You will 
probably see him training-day. I wish you 
would rather urge upon him an attendance upon 
the Sabbath school ; or find out by him, if you 
can, whether he can get up to the meeting-house 
on the Sabbath ; and how he spends his Sab- 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 165 

baths at home ; or whether he has any sense of 
the sacredness of the day. I feel that some 
energetic measures must be adopted with regard 
to his turn of mind ; or he will become like the 
senseless block through ignorance, or bigotted 
against the truth through bad examples, and 
the want of salutary precepts. We must bear 
his case in mind, and do what we can for him. 
My only hope is in ' God my rock/ who has 
ever been my helper, — in Him will I trust. 

" My health is much better than I have lately 
enjoyed — thanks to the Giver ! 

" I hope you and M. will gratify me with a 
few lines occasionally. Do not be afraid of dis- 
appointing me with your small things, I would 
not give a farthing for any display of talent 
where there is no simplicity joined with godly 
sincerity, no naturalness of character, tender- 
ness of conscience, &c. * * * 

" Your affectionate mother, " E. E." 

To her daughter — written in 1822. 

" Martha , — I have just time to remind you, 

my dear, of what your uncle told me he enjoined 

on you, — to get the articles of faith, and the 

church covenant, and read them. I do not 

14* 



166 MEMOIR OF 

expect you can fully understand and digest 
every point of doctrine, so as to give a satisfac- 
tory answer to any one who might inquire of 
you with a view to perplex your mind. You 
are yet a child. But, Martha, fear God, and de- 
vote yourself with your whole heart to his service ; 
and whatever you promise by giving your assent to 
in this covenant, you will perform, his grace as- 
sisting you. Plead with Him to enable you to 
perform it acceptably. He will not be mocked 
with impunity. Be afraid to neglect any known 
duty, lest God should be angry, and cease to strive 
with you and teach you. Then, to whom would 
you turn ? what would you be ? or who would 
plead for you at the bar of God ? You need 
never to be afraid to perform things which some 
may think unnecessary, if the performance ac- 
cords with the general tenor of Scripture, and a 
Christian spirit is promoted by it. Love your 
uncle ; be tender towards him. Be careful that 
you do not indulge any improper thoughts con- 
cerning him ; and especially that you do not speak 
to his disadvantage. Pray for him. I never 
felt more tender towards him, nor a stronger 
disposition to pray for him. O it is a blessed 
thing to be a Christian ! 

" Your Mother." 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON, 167 

To her daughter — dated, 

« Sept 4th, 1824. 
u Martha, my dear, — I suppose my anxiety 
and carefulness for you can never cease, till the 
thread of life is spun — till the last pulse shall 
cease to beat.* Still I profess not to hold you as 
my own, and daily implore the God of mercy, who 
has thus far spared your life and mine, and 
whose you are, that He would make you a sub- 
ject of His renovating grace ; and that it may 
be for His own glory to give you such a charac- 
ter as He will delight to own and bless. 

* In a retired corner of the burying-ground in Hudson, Ohio, over- 
hung by spreading trees, there now stands a new-made grave; on'the 
stone of which is the following inscription: — 

MARTHA EGERTON WRIGHT, 

Wife of Asher Wright, Missionary among the Senecas ; 

Daughter of 

Asa and Emily Egerton, and adopted daughter of Rufus and M. M. Nutting; — 

Was called to rest from her labors 

Jan. 7, 1832, aged 23 years. 

Devoted to God, beloved of man, — for the cause of Him in whom she trusted, 

" She hath done what she could." 

But— 

"She was not, for God took her." 

" Blessed is he, whom his Lord, when He cometh, shall find so doing." 

Thus did the affectionate mother's " last pulse cease to beat," and 
the beloved daughter cease to need her anxious care, in such quick 
succession; — and both mother and daughter have doubtless reunited 
in adoring Him who led them safely through ! 

Martha's story, after her mother left her, is quickly told. — Those 
whom she now called "parents," and who called her "daughter," 
about that time commencing a residence in Ohio, she tarried still in 
New England to complete her education. Here she became the part- 
ner of the Rev. Asher Wright. Eut the bleak winds of the Eastern 
coast had occasioned the "appearance of her hereditary complaint 
while a member of Miss Grant's school, in the Spring of 1831; and, 
ere they could join their station, near Buffalo, N. Y. her health had 



168 MEMOIR OF 

" Since you have been committed to the care 
of those dear and faithful friends, whose unpar- 
alleled kindness can never be highly enough appre- 
ciated by you, I have said little to you about your 
outward conduct. I have fully and confidently 
believed they would instil into your mind such 
principles of action as will be right for you at 
all times to maintain. Still, in common with 
our fallen race, you need ' line upon line ; pre- 
cept upon precept ; here a little and there a 
little ; ' — and with all this you will never be 
able, as were not the children of Israel, to expel 
the Canaanites utterly from the coast. No, 
Martha, I expect this, believing that you have 
already been shown that you have sinful pro- 

declined so rapidly, that she seemed to need the milder climate of 
Ohio, and the attention of her parental friends. But, on her reaching 
their abode in November, (after a short stay at the mission house) the 
disease had progressed too far to be arrested by any change of climate 
or circumstances; and on Saturday, Jan. 7, she cheerfully committed 
her spirit to the faithful hands of that Saviour 'whom she had been 
enabled to love and serve for the last ten years — with a hope full of 
immortality.—" I had hoped," writes her bereaved husband, " that 
she would be my example and consolation. She loved the cause of 
Christ. She loved the Indians. She was willing to sacrifice herall 
for their salvation. She had previously sacrificed her all to Jesus; 
and, when He came and called for her, she was ready to relinquish 
that hope [of benefiting them,] for which alone she :<nanifested any 
desire to live." 

" I have often wished," said another friend some time before her 
departure, " that, if I had not been doomed to exist an orphan, and 
never to experience the affection of a brother's or a sister's heart — if 
Providence had given me a sister, she might be like Martha Egee- 
ton. Though years have passed over^ my head since I have seen 
her, still the memory oi hex mild and retiring character has ever 
been fresh in my heart. 

Martha had never failed to adorn that profession, concerning 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON, 169 

pensities ; and the more you are taught by the 
Spirit of God's grace, the more you will see that 
your heart is the seat of all that pride which was 
the first source of transgression ; and that this is 
so entwined throughout every crevice of it, that 
not one thought nor expression can be registered 
in heaven as pure ; and that, while it is so con- 
cealed as not to alarm, it may be ready to 
spring into action with every surrounding object. 
" I have not lately been enough acquainted 
with your private character to know what are 
your peculiar temptations ; but I would wish 
you to be particularly guarded against throiving 
off restraint. Mr. E. last Sabbath, — if you at- 
tended to it,— saved me the trouble of warning 

which her mother had given her such excellent hints in the preceding 
letter. She was, in an eminent degree, conscientious, modest, hum- 
ble, prayerful, patient, submissive, -persevering in every good zoork. 
Indeed, possessed of her mother's moral and intellectual endowments, 
with superior advantages for improving them, and an unwavering 
desire of consecrating all her attainments to her Redeemer, what 
might not have been expected from her longer stay on earth? — But 
He who doeth " all things well," had otherwise determined. 

And, while He has apparently brought her thus to a distant land 
to find an early grave; — if He has also thus unexpectedly answered 
the prayer of her dying mother "that she might be preserved from 
the snares of a wicked icorld ;" and has made her death like 
" life from the dead" to her younger brother, that "other child," so 
often ejaculated in the preceding narrative; and spoken in tender 
faithfulness to those who loved her, and in the still voice of convic- 
tion to the heart of youth, of beauty, of loveliness, of piety, of the 
bride in her chamber with her high hopes of usefulness and happiness 
saying — " This, is not your rest — prepare for that which " remain- 
eth for the people of God ; — who, then, must not exclaim, in view 
of this trying dispensation, "O the depths of the riches both of the 
wisdom and knowledge of God ! " 



170 MEMOIR OF 

you against throwing off the restraints of reli- 
gious education. It seemed to me that every 
young person who heard him, would readily ac- 
knowledge that, to follow such instructions as are 
given by the truly pious, according with what 
Solomon gave his son, would be too safe a way 
to neglect, too honorable a way to reject, and 
too comfortable a way not to follow. I believe 
the surest way to please our fellow creatures is 
to take the Bible for our guide. It enjoins upon 
us to love our neighbor as -ourselves. This 
principle being in exercise will save us from all 
bigotry, ill-will, distrust, envy, and the like 
disturbers of social happiness. 

" Chastity is abundantly enjoined in Scrip- 
ture, even to the extent of every thought and 
expression of countenance. This certainly can 
never fail to please even the ungodly. Though 
they may be willing to see this law of God vio- 
lated to bring reproach upon his cause, yet in 
itself it is lovely. Do not mistake my meaning 
with regard to the motive of pleasing. I con^ 
sider it not only a vain thing, but highly dis- 
pleasing in the sight of God, to wear the garb of 
any virtue, wherein love to God, and a prevail- 
ing desire to do his will and be blest in our en- 



i\LRS. EMILY EGERTON. • 171 

deavors for his sake, — are out of his sight. God, 
in his wisdom, will expose all our deceptions ; and 
by laying bare a base motive, may turn it to 
our greatest confusion. One word more upon 
chastity. I believe the many pert, unmeaning, 
uninteresting expressions which are so apt to 
escape the lips of our sex, originate, strictly 
speaking, in an unchaste spirit. That love of 
display, so easily detected and as surely despised, 
would not make so many destructive inroads 
within our weak minds, were it not for a tincture 
of unchastity. I would ever hold up to your 
view, obedience to God as the strongest motive 
to chastity. Could your dear father now speak 
to you on the subject, he would tell you that 
the other sex are Iceen-eyed and severe towards 
oars; — firm to protect the chaste till the last 
breath; but perfectly willing to abandon, at 
once, those of a contrary character. 

" I should like to fill this page to Albert, if 
I had time. I exceedingly fear, my son, lest 
you forget your dependence, during this may-be 
short season of prosperity ; and claim the mer- 
cies lent you, no doubt upon trial, as your own; 
and thus begin to wear an air of self-conse- 
quence, There is no class of people tvho need 



172 MEMOIR OF 

more humility, and more self-government, than 
students, — none who are watched with a more 
jealous eye — none whose responsibilities to the 
Author of unmerited mercy, are greater. Oh, 
be sober ; be vigilant ! I dare not flatter you 
with regard to any future prospect, there is such 
a weight of responsibility rests upon you. Do 
not forsake the throne of grace, nor ever feel 
whole in yourselves. — My dear children, adieu. 
"E. Egerton." 

To her son, written near the close of his first school. 

" Albert, — As your return is soon expected, I 
must give you a word of caution — that you come 
not assuming the airs of a schoolmaster, but of 
a docile dependent scholar. I want you to be 
more than ever attentive to the interests of this 
family. As you have been for a season destitute 
of care of this kind, you will need to put forth 
stronger exertions, and feel the weight of duty 
and obligations, in order to shake off all sloth 
and self-indulgence. I think likely Mr. N. will 
not appear to you just as he did before his 
sickness. Perhaps he will manifest more impa- 
tience and less indulgence towards you. But 
mind what I say — if he should, instead of letting \ 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 173 

it irritate, or create in you a disposition to treat 
him with coldness, exercise yourself to more 
particular acts of kindness and attention. Al- 
ways explain every thing fairly, and be ready to 
confess your faults. Be sure to treat Mrs. N. 
also with attention. Do not let little things 
discourage you. I want you to have such a 
motive in pursuing study, as not to indulge a 
trifling, indolent spirit at all, nor be disconcerted 
at trifles. Do not be afraid of doing too much. 
I had rather have you feel that you do too little. 
I wish especially to have you feel so dependent 
upon the grace of God, as to let nothing deter 
you from stated seasons of prayer. 

"Your MoTHfeR." 

To her daughter, written probably in 1825. 

"M , You must conduct yourself wisely in 

your present circumstances. No one can be 
capable of true friendship who will desert a 
friend when the public voice is against him. O 
if you knew the wickedness that lurks in the 
breasts of mankind, you would learn to prize 
worth wherever it does exist, as a rare ar- 
ticle on earth. I know you have had some 
15 



174 MEMOIR OF 

very wicked companions — I know you have had 
some very wicked neighbors. And you, and 

A have both become contaminated thereby 

to such a degree, that you will both have bitter 
repentance hereafter. I copy a little scrap 
which lately struck me forcibly while it was 
read in school. f Among all human duties, none 
has a stronger claim on our attention than filial 
affection. Yet how often has the parent the 
misery of finding pertness substituted in the 
place of humility, arrogance in that of depen- 
dence, and indifference in thai of duty.' I 
have never thought you chargeable with these 
things towards me, yet there may be others who 
have equal claims to your fidelity, who may 
discover these things, or some of them, in both 
of you ; and it may greatly affect their conduct 
towards you. There is no safety nor honesty 
towards one's self, in a disaffected mind. 

" I am not so ignorant of human nature, as not 
to know that duty under some circumstances is 
very difficult; yet it is none the less binding. 
Do both be faithful during Mr. N.'s absence. 
O that you had the law of gratitude and faith- 
fulness written upon your hearts — towards God 
and man. A , I wish you would find time 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 175 

to read something that will give you a different 
train of thought. Next week, Saturday, I hope 
to ride up and see you. 

" In the tenderest bonds of affection, 
"Your Mother. 57 

The following note, to the same, is in some 
respects characteristic of Mrs. E., especially in 
the readiness manifested to undo what she be- 
came convinced, by reflecting on divine truth, 
had been done icrong. 

" Monday evening, , 1826. 

" A FOOL UTTERETH ALL HIS MIND J BUT A 
WISE MAN KEEPETH IT IN TILL AFTERWARDS." 

Prov. xxix. 11. 

" My dear, — You see how I am reproved for 
expressing myself so freely to you Saturday 
evening. I have felt that, if profaning the 
Sabbath with unhallowed thoughts should be 
laid to your charge, I am guilty of being the 
cause of it, by reason of your disappointment 
on account of your choice not meeting my 
approbation. Thus, instead of exciting in your 
breast gratitude for the gift, and pleasantness 
for the favor, I have foolishly buried it all at 



176 MEMOIR QF 

once in that great red stripe, [alluding to the 
figure of a dress,] which I presume would offend 
none but myself. M — , you may be assured that, 
upon reflection, it does not weigh the heft of a 
straw in my mind what sort of a gown you 
have, if any. Assure Mrs. N. of this — that I 
shall not hereafter exercise one anxious thought 
on the subject. Dress has become of so much 
importance in this town, that even those who, 
in principle, wish to discard its predominance, 
are in danger of being insensibly drawn into the 
vortex of fashion, — forgetting the exhortation in 
the first Epis. to Tim., 2d Chap. Ask Mrs. N. 
to forgive all my imprudencies. Take the word 
of God for your guide. May it administer in- 
struction, as well as reproof. 

" Your affectionate mother, 

" Emily Egerton." 

To her son, soon after he entered College. 

" Tuesday eve., April 24th, 1827. 

" Albert, my dear, — Nothing can interest me 
more than a few moments converse with you. 
I love to bring you near in imagination, as you 
are ever near my heart. 

" I was much gratified with the account you 






MRS. EMILY EGERTON. 177 

gave of your situation. It has left an impression 
upon my mind that you are profitably as well as 
pleasantly situated. I love to feel a conscious- 
ness that you are happy ; that you enjoy every 
thing which a kind Parent has placed within 
the sphere of your enjoyment. But I want it 
should be without anything visionary or tran- 
sient. I want your enjoyment should be 
rational, durable as eternity itself; that when all 
the glittering meteors of life shall cease to 
charm, and shall have passed away, your grasp 
upon that which the winds and the waves of 
adversity cannot shake or demolish, may never 
be loosened. O this is a great work— 'tis God's 
own work — the implantation of a right principle 
in the heart of man. 

" It now remains to be proved whether you 
have so laid hold on Christ as to enable you to 
make those sacrifices which his holiness can 
accept. It is, and ever will be, a great satisfac- 
tion to me to believe that your intimate asso- 
ciates are of that stamp, that may assist you in 
preserving a right spirit. We must have a 
savor of that spirit which our Saviour possessed, 
to be always aiming at the greatest good, ' hav- 
ing respect to the recompense of reward ;' — 



178 MEMOIR OF 

believing, not speculatively, but practically, that 
all our motives of action as well as the actions 
themselves, will meet us in another world, before 
a heart-searching Judge. I do not expect to give 
you any new instruction, but only, in the words 
of St. Paul, ( as a beloved son, I warn you.' 
<( * * * jyj one can more arc [ ent iy p rav f or 

your prosperity than 

"Your mother, 

"E. Egerton." 

With regard to Mrs. Egerton's intellectual 
faculties, it would be readily inferred, from 
the exhibitions of her character and writings 
already made, that she was naturally possessed 
of sufficiently strong powers of mind, — rendered 
still more so by a rather contemplative habit; 
and especially by dwelling on the grand subjects 
of Christianity. She habitually wrote and read 
much, for one in her situation ; — though in her 
verbal communications, however far from an 
unsocial turn, — she appeared usually to agree 
practically with the sentiment of Cowper, that 

11 Talking is not always to converse" 

She was possessed of an active and inventive 
imagination, which, united with her delicacy of 



MRS. EMILY EGERTON. [79 

feeling, laid the foundation for a poetical turn. 
From a number of her effusions of this sort, I 
shall select a single specimen, with which, after 
a few verbal corrections, I shall close the 
memoir. It was occasioned by hearing the 
music of a bass-viol. It was the same instru- 
ment on which the husband of her youth, in 
years long gone by, had been accustomed to 
cheer the passing moments with her he loved. 

Addressed to Mrs. M. M. N. 

u Marcia asks, with the care of a friend — 
' Does the voice of that viol cause pain ; — 
Awaken sensations you dread 
To have ever awakened again? 

Or has time, ever ready to heal, 

Poured his balm on the wound once so deep 7 

And the clamor of life's busy scenes 
Lull'd those softer emotions to sleep ? ' 

M., these sounds that once ravished my ear, 
Softly stealing- the moments away, 

Call me back still to scenes once so dear ; — 
Chasten'd messengers ! kind is their sway. 

Rich instruction they now can impart 5 
For time has not paralized thought. 

Soft sensations still twine 'round my heart 
With eternal realities fraught. 

Look at yonder neat web, wove with care,— 
Little artist, does pride swell thy breast ? 

— Fit emblem of life's mad career, 
Till the rod solemn truth has impress'd. 



I! 



180 MEMOIR OF MRS. EGERTON. 

If no changes were felt here below, 

And this blight world were viewed as our home,. 

Passion's wind a strange tempest would blow ; 
Reason's helm a sad, sad course would roam. 

A lone pensioner, here for a day, 
Often clouded with life's sickly gleam, 

I love now to look far away, 
Where sunshine forever shall beam. 

When the friend who reclin'd on my breast, ■ 

Gave a parting look, death stood aghast. 
Time is short ! with such force was impress'd, 
Though unheeded at times, still it lasts. 

Touch the strings which those cold hands have tuned 
( Time is short V through my mind vibrates 
still 3— 

And, across the dark ocean of years, 
Steals a glimpse through eternity's veil. 

Eternity ! Yes it is near. 

Then let us, dear Marcia, be wise, 
And prepare, while we tune our harps here, 
For the ' chorus that gladdens the skies/ 77 






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